Where is the Love? For Zim?
by TITANcheetah001
Summary: I'm Dare... My real name is Delilah Calico. I'm the new girl at Dib and Zim's school. The thing is... The Halloween Party Dance is coming up, and I have no idea to bring Zim or Dib with me! Will I be able to choose before the talent show AND the dance?
1. Delilah: the OTHER Horrible New Girl

"OK, scrawny munchkins, Get in line!" yelled the coach in our faces (NEEDS mouthwash!). It was P.E.: my least favorite subject... I hope he doesn't put the class in teams again; last time I had to sit out because one kid was absent and no one would pick me.

Yes, I'm Dib Membrane: that crazy kid that sits in the corner of the class (complete with a big head).

It's not that big!

Me and my classmates scurried into line, hoping not to get KILLED by the coach.

But if there was _anybody_ I wanted dead, that would be _ZIM_. He's the alien that I try to tell the world about, but no one listens. They all think I'm mentally insane!

Zim has green skin, dresses weirdly, and doesn't have ears. He speaks in a weird way, too...

"I'll be assigning you weaklings into groups for basketball."

Oh _thanks_; that was _just_ what I needed!

"You on this side, you, that side, over here, that team, other side..." Coach put ZIM on MY team! Unfair.

I don't wanna talk about my pain. I'll skip this and drop you off at _'After Phys Ed...'_:

_**

* * *

**_

After Phys Ed, we were sent back to the class for a _surprise_. Did I _FINALLY_ become popular among my fellow students!

"Claassssss," started Ms. Bitters, "we happen to have a new kid joining us today. Young lady, please tell the rest of your classmates your name and something about yourself," But the weird thing was that there was NOBODY there!

A kid raised his hand and said, "Ms. Bitters is he invisible?"

"No, of course not; we'll just have to wait here idly until this _new student_ finally comes!"

We all sat there for four minutes until Zim said, "Are you sure that you're not just trying to keep us here...So we can DIE of BOREDOM?"

Ms. Bitters was about to answer, but someone knocked on the door. She let the kid in. "Oh, _sorry_! I lost track of where I was going; I forgot the campus map at home! Hehheh..." There was a REALLY pretty brown-haired girl. _She_ got sent to _this_ school? What were her parents _thinking_?

But she said that not like she was embarrassed, she said it like a hot smart-aleck. I stared at her beauty.

"Just say your name and sit somewhere," said Ms. Bitters.

The girl turned to the rest of the class. "Hi! My name's Delilah Calico, but everyone, just call me Dare!" She smiled and waved happily.

Apparently, she doesn't know how _bad_ this school really is.

You're not gonna believe this, but I finally turned my head away and looked at Zim; he was staring at her just like I was and _blushing_.

So I guess aliens _DO_ love!


	2. Smarter Than the Teacher?

I am ZIM!

I HAVE INTERVENED WITH PUNY HUMAN DIB'S STORY! NOW I CAN WRITE _MY_ VERSION! MWAAHAHAHAHA! I AM ZIM! uyuyg8ivfCerxeewrgvc GIR! GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER! WAIT, IT'S ON CAPS LOCK, ISN'T IT?

_*click*_

That's better. I am ZIM! I will post MY chapters on this story as well as the putrid human DIB, too (just so you know)!

And I also gave the code to Delilah so SHE could write parts of this. MWUAAHHAHAAAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHA!

Back to the story:

That horrible new worm-baby walked into the class. "Hi! My name's Delilah Calico, but everyone, just call me Dare!" She smiled and waved at me.

And of course I blushed.

"Fine," stated Ms. Bitters, "Just siddown."

Dare looked around the class and turned her head sideways like Gir does when he's trying to think. "Errrmmm... But there's nowhere to sit." Then she brushed back some of her long brown hair of her face.

Ms. Bitters growled. She pointed to the kid sitting next to the Dib human. "You! I'm sick of you; go to the underground classroom." She pushed a button on her desk and the boy fell through a trap door.

FITHY HUMAN WORM-BABY GETS WHAT HE DESERVES!

"You sit there, now," Ms. Bitters said to Dare.

"Thank you, Mrs. Bitters," Dare replied as she sat down.

"IT'S _MS._!"

That blew me back a little. It blew the entire front row back; maybe the one behind me. Dare just sat there, smiling all smart-aleck like. "Sorry, _Ms._ Bitters," she apologized all innocently.

I stared at her face, wondering how she was sent to _this_ class and not somewhere else. And of course the Dib human was awestruck by Dare

I knew from that day forward that was never going to like her.

I think stupid Dib has fallen for Dare because he was looking at her and wouldn't really stop talking.

"Hi! I'm Dib!"

"Hey, kid; Name's Delilah,"

"You're really pretty, ya know that?"

"Thanks, I know,"

Dib paused a minute. "Ya know... It would be nice to have a friend, finally, am I right?"

"I can make friends myself,"

"I actually meant me... I don't have anybody..." Dare turned to face Dib and sparkled her dark cinnamon eyes.

"Sorry, Dib; Sure I can be your friend."

"Really?"

"'Course,"

"YOU ARE THE BEST!"

I couldn't take it anymore. "GOD DAMMIT! WILL YOU IDIOTS _SHUT UP_!"I screamed at them.

Dib instantly went all submissive. But Delilah just looked at me and flicked her hair back. "To tell you the truth, I'm not an idiot; I'm probably the smartest damn thing in this room."

Arrogant worm-bitch.

"You know... You're not really that bad; I'll chat with ya later." Was she talking to me? Well, she was batting her eyelashes a few times at ZIM.

I realized _Maybe I could get another chance to experiment with human love and affection! Tak was an Irken, she didn't count._

"Yeah, I'll talk to ya," I said back reluctantly.

Dare smiled.

"Today's revolting lesson is about what radiation does to the human body," said Ms. Bitters.

We all took out our textbooks and flipped to the pages about radiation. Delilah looked at the page funny and raised her hand.

"What?"

"Ms. Bitters, I don't think radiation poisoning is going to give you magical super powers like it says in the book; I personally assumed that... Well, it will corrupt your skin tissue and introduce your cells to a freak gene disorder, or cripple your body until you die or become an abomination. Doesn't that seem more logical?"

"Whatever the book says is true," answered Ms. Bitters.

"But I don't agree; I thin-"

"Listen here, kid: YOU are MY student! YOU will learn whatever IEEEE say! And if THE BOOK says you will get super powers, then YOU WILL GET SUPER POWERS!"

"Ahhh, yes, of course teacher! But if all these poor children want super powers, they'll poison themselves with rads and most likely kill themselves; do you want that on your '_spotless_' record?"

Damn, that human isn't afraid of _ANYTHING_!

Ha-ha, just wait until I enslave the Earth, THEN she'll beg for MERCY!

MUWWAHAHHAHAA!

Oh and Gir says hi.


	3. Our Not So Historic Battle

I am ZIM!

Finally, school ended. Now maybe I could get the chance of knowing this... _Delilah Calico_ person more.

I walked out of the giant door out of the school. I saw Delilah dancing to something that was attached to her ears. She was singing something, too.

_Be my bad boy,_

_Be my man._

_Be my weekend lover,_

_But don't be my friend._

_You can be my bad boyyyyy,_

_But understand,_

_That I don't need you againnnn,_

_No I don't need you again..._

It must have been some kind of song or something. "Hey Dare!" I called to her.

No answer. I tapped her shoulder. She looked at me surprised. "Oh hai, kid!" She pulled the buds from her ears and took out a rectangular thing and paused her song, "You know, I never learned your name."

"My name is Zim. What _is_ that thing?"

"Oh, this? It's called an iPod; this is the Nano version, though."

"What does that... _iPod Nano_ do exactly? Tell Ziiiiiiiiiimmm!"

She was completely unfazed by that, "Well the most recent generation of iPod Nano can play songs in HD, record videos, listen to radio, cover flow, etc,"

I tilted my head. I do this thing that I call 'lifting an eyebrow'; one eye stays the same while the other opens up wider. It's a form of suspicion. "Can I see it?"

"Hell, no you can't."

I looked at her more hostile, "And _WHY_ is that?"

She flicked her hair back again, "Because I know you're gonna do something with it; I can see it in your _innocent_ blue eyes,"

What I really wanted to do with it was analyze it with my Pak. I held out my hand, "Give me the iPod; I wanna analyze it,"

"Nah; what are ya do? _Tentacle rape me?_"

I hadn't thought about that yet.

I was getting more pissed off every time she said no, "I might..." I do have those in my Pak, but the closest thing to a Japanese school girl here is Dare, ssooooooooooooo...

"Whoa, sick-minded much; I was just kidding pervert! What? Do you have giant spider legs in your backpack as well?"

Dammit! I do! My hand clenched in a fist. "Yeah, I actually do! What's it to ya?"

She put her arms up defensively. "Hey, I'm just wondering,"

I gave up on the iPod idea; I'd just buy one myself. "Ssoooooooooo.. ermmmm... Wanna be.. friends?" Yes, I was that desperate.

Her brown eyes sparkled at me this time, "Oh... Sure, that sounds fun, Hehheh,"

"Good," I started getting serious, "From now on you are going to obey Zim and Zim only, you will be my minion and you will do whatever I say,"

She threw her head back and laughed at my attempt to do things my way. She finally stopped after about forever, "Sorry, I'm not a good girl; I don't play by the rules. To me they're more like _guidelines_."

I just lost it. Nervous breakdown time! "DAMMIT WOMAN! OBEY THE FIST, HUMAN WORM BITCH!" I held my right fist at her.

This is something I never expected: she grabbed my fist with her right hand, twisted it down (I yelped in agony), kneed me in the stomach (that knocked the complete breath out of me), elbowed my head to the ground (face plant), turned me over with her boot (I think my mouth was bleeding), and said, "Take it back or I'm going to crush your head like an insect on the wall."

I am ZIM! I NEVER give up! But I did hurt like hell. ".. Not taken' back," I choked out. She stepped on my head harder. I felt like crying. I looked up at her: she had the most menacing eyes I've ever seen in a human female. She went from beautiful to murderous in almost no time at all. I almost wanted to-

"..Mercy," I pleaded, "I.. I'm begging you... I never begged anybody before..."

Her eyes softened at me, "OK, fine," she stepped off of me, "But you're an asshole for saying that, you know,"

I sat up and she sat in front of me. Her eyes... wait; did she implant a chip inside me or something? My mouth really was bleeding, though.

"Here," she said; she pulled something from her jean pocket, "It's an antiseptic wipe;" she ripped open the package, "it should keep the cut from being infected. Now, this might taste funny," She wiped the side of my lip where it was bleeding. It turns out that it wasn't that deep.

She pulled a tissue from a different pocket, "This should soak up the blood; hold it for me." I held it. It felt a little better actually. "Hey, I'm really sorry I did that, I just got carried away with my anger; I put up freaking _historic_ fights,"

She looked at me apologetically. I returned the look, "Yeah, me too."

"... I don't normally say this, but, call me," She scribbled her number on that antiseptic wipe and gave it to me. "Again, I'm sorry I did that."

I smiled a little; I didn't do it too much cause it hurt, "See you at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she got up, helped me, "See ya, bye,"

"Bye,"

You know, maybe I did like her a little bit.


	4. When I Came Home

Hey, people! Delilah in the house!

Yes it's Dare; Zim gave me the code recently so I'm posting a chapter once in a while, m'kay?

So here's what happened: I got in a fight with Zim today and now I'm walking home. There was a little bit of his blood on my sexy green camo t-shirt. And it was _perfectly_ on the white trim! It didn't even _touch_ any green.

But at the time I didn't really care; all I really cared about was if Zim was gonna call me or not. I sighed; he seems like the vain, selfish type, doesn't he?

I walked into the front door. My cat, Calli came up to me and edged her head on my ankle; "Oh hi, Cal; how ya doin'?" I bent down and stroked her back. She purred so loud, you'd think it was a lawn mower. She's part Siamese cat and part Tabby. She has the creamy fur of the Siamese and the voice of one too. She has milky black stripes down her back and tail and some on her forehead and cheeks. In my opinion: she's 100% adorable.

"Pppuurrrrrooooowww?" she mewed at me, "Mmeew mmmooww hhuuurroowww?"

"For the love of Christ, Calli, what the hell are you saying?"

She tilted her head at me, "cccuuuuuurrroow,"

"Jeez, if only you could talk!"

"Hey sis," called my older half-brother, Aaron; he's in college and majoring to be a surgeon. But honestly, who wants to be the person pulling out human guts? "How was school today?" he tossed me one of his chocolate chip cookies that he made yesterday at me. He's an AMAZING chef! I don't know WHY he wants to be a surgeon! "I had to take a timed test about the human anatomy; they only gave the class two minutes! I still can't believe I named everything so quickly!"

"_I_ had to learn about how radiation poisoning gives you _superpowers_!" I flopped myself on the couch and flipped on the TV: "Is there nothing on except the Angry Monkey Show?" I asked loudly. My face looked like when you put a capital 'I' in front of an equal sign that's in front of a left facing arrow. Jot it down somewhere; you should get it.

Aaron brushed part of his messy, dirty blond hair off his face. "I thought rads kill you."

"I know! They do!" Aaron sat next to me on the couch.

He changed the subject: "I'm gonna go to Turbo-Kick-Boxing tonight; wanna come?"

"Nah, I'm tired," Calli hopped onto my lap. Just so you know, Calli is _my_ cat; I bought her with my own money and take care of her myself, "I beat up a kid afterschool today,"

"You what?" He looked shocked at me but not for the reason you think.

"Don't worry, I didn't change, and besides, _he's_ the one who called me a 'human-worm-bitch'."

He lifted an eyebrow at me, "Wow, that's low,"

"I know, huh?" Calli flopped onto her back and meowed some more.

"Kuurrrr mmmoowwwwww," she said.

"English please," I said to her. She looked offended and leapt off me.

"Are you _sure_ you didn't show him your... _talent_?"

"Yes, I kept a complete eye on myself to see if I did, and I didn't; anything happen with you?"

"Nope, I got mad at this one idiot that was sitting next to me, though; I think he got into college by accident, he's a retard!"

"I know," I pulled my iPod from my pocket and listened to it to drown out the Angry Monkey.

_I pick all my skirts,_

_To be a little too sexy._

_Just like all my thoughts,_

_They always get a bit naughty._

_When I'm out with my girls,_

_I always play a bit bitchy._

_Can't change the way I am:_

_Sexy, naughty, bitchy, me._

That's one of my favorite songs to get stuck in my head when I'm dancing to something.

I yawned loudly. "I'm going upstairs on my computer," I said.

"'Kay,"

I still had my iPod in my ears and I was halfway up, but I heard the phone ring. I paused _Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy_ by Tata Young on my iPod and picked it up.

It said 'UNKNOWN ADDRESS' on the caller ID, but I had a hint it might be Zim. I pushed the talk button, "Hello?"

"Hai! Mai name is Gir! What's yours?" said a crazy little mechanical sounding thing.

"Hi, ermmmm, my name's Delilah..." I said half wanting to slam the phone into the receiver, "Why are you calling?"

"Oh, Uuhh, mai master's name is Zim! He wanted _me_ to call you because he's scared a' you!"

I heard a voice scream in the background, "I AM NOT AFRAID OF A PUNY HUMAN!" I don't know why Zim says 'human' so much.

"Okee-Dokey! He says that you're pretty!"

I kind of felt like snickering at this thing's sense of humor. He was funny!

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" Zim yelled at Gir.

LOL.

"Zim says that he'll see you at school tomorrow... and see ya later! Bye!"

"Wait!" I called before he hung up, "How is Zim's mouth doing?"

There was a slight pause, but Gir came back, "Oh, he's doin' great! He thanks you lots and he likes you!"

"THAT'S THE LAST TIME, GIR! HANG UP THE PHONE; HANG IT UP RIGHT NOW!"

"Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyee!" Gir hung up.

"Who was that?" asked Aaron, channel-flipping.

"Oh, that was a friend; I told him to call me,"

"_Him_?"

"Shut up," I ran upstairs.

I know you're probably wondering what Aaron and I were talking about before Gir called.

This is it: I am a freak of nature. You'd never guess that I was... a _shapeshifter_.


	5. Dog Walking

I am ZIM!

Gir finally hung up the phone after I told him twice. "DAMMIT, GIR! Why the hell would you _say_ that!" I screamed at him.

He just smiled at me all dementedly, "Because it's _truuuuuuuue_..."

"But I'm supposed to destroy the Earth! I can't go having some human worm think I _like_ her! Even if I did, wouldn't you think I was CRAZY for having _stupid human feelings_ for someone other than my own _race_?" I had half a mind to destroy the defective SIR unit!

He put his disguise back on and said, "At least you're not _gay_." Then he started chugging down his chocolate-bubblegum smoothie. He gets the same exact flavor every single time he goes to that smoothie shop.

"ZIIIIIM IS NOT GAAYYYY!" I screamed.

"Good, because ZADR is getting _preeeettyyyyy ffaaaammouussssss_..."

I looked at him suspiciously. "What the hell is ZADR?"

He stopped devouring his smoothie and shook his head, "You don't wanna know,"

I decided to can the ZADR thing and find a way to resolve what Gir had done on the phone with Dare. I started talking aloud to myself. I do that a lot but Dib sounds crazier than I do when he does it.

"Maybe I can implant a chip in her brain that will give off hatred hormones that will make her hate me... Yes that's gooooood,"

"But what if she _doesn't_ like you?"

"Don't be _ridiculous_; of _course_ she does! No human female can resist the awesome _hawtness_ of ZIIM!" I posed.

I still can't believe I said that.

"Maybe that chip thing won't work... hhmmmmm, if, no that's crazy... I can, no that's dumber... Good Lord! Why can't I _think_ of anything!"

"Because you'rrrre in loooooovve!" Gir sang. I blushed.

"I am NOT!"

"Yes you are!"

"Am NOT!"

"Are too,"

"Am _NOT_! Irkens should never feel that way to humans! It is the wrong way of nature!"

"Doooon't dee-nie your feeeee-lings!" he sang again.

I started flailing my arms like an enraged chibi character would, "Shut up or I'm going to make you self destruct!" I just lost it, again. I stop flailing my arms and kicked Gir in the head. He flew backwards and face-planted in the wall upside down; it cracked and oil was spilling from Gir's head. I didn't mean to do _that_. "Aww shit; sorry Gir!"

Gir fell off the wall. "Dawwww, that huuuuuurrt!"

"Give me a minute; I'll repair you in a sec."

_**

* * *

**_

"There, that should be decent," I said to myself as I finished the repairs on Gir. I walked over to the window just to see if anything was going on outside.

I never expected to see this, but I saw out of the window that _Delilah_ was coming out of that house down the block that had those giant semis in the driveway.

She lived on _my_ street?

I stared at her walking a large thing that looked like a pitbull dog monster or something. I opened the window and stared at her.

"C'mon, Kes, we're going for a walk," she said to the dog thing. She bent down to attach the leash to the dog's collar and she must have seen me. "Hey, Zim!" she called and waved to me.

I slipped out of my house and wandered to Delilah, but that monster of a canine growled and barked at me like I was going to kill her.

"Kes, NO; he's a _friend_." Dare calmed down her dog and I approached her cautiously. That thing would have killed me! "Hi Zim," she said, "Sorry about Kes, she's part pitbull, Labrador, and boxer, so she's a really protective guard dog." She tossed something at me and I caught it. "It's a treat; give it to her,"

"Uuhh- OK..." I held my hand out to Kes and she happily took the bone shaped cookie from my hand. She jumped at me and licked my face.

"GAT IT OFF GET IT OFF GAT IT OFF!" I screamed.

I heard Dare's stern voice behind all the 'snarfing' sounds the dog was making, "Off, Kes, heel, sit, down, stay," The dog instantly followed Delilah's commands perfectly at the second she said them. "Sorry; God _why_ do I embarrass myself in front of you all the time!"

"Dunno; wow, I wish people would obey me like that," I said.

She looked at me understanding, "Yeah! I know!"

"HI MASTER!" Oh shit, I know that voice.

Gir followed me outside.

"Aww, Zim, he's so cute!" said Delilah, "Wanna walk our dogs together?"

"AH WANNA GOOOO!" Gir waved his arms in the air trying to get me to take him.

"...Fine, Gir, get your leash,"

"Yes, sir!"

I turned to Dare, who was smiling at me, "Gir? That's a tough name for a pint-sized thing,"

"Well, he came with the name, actually,"

"Oh so you adopted him?"

"...Yeah, I did,"

"From a shelter or a pet store?"

STOP ASKING ME THINGS! "I got him from a shelter; he was, ermmmm, abandoned,"

I think I touched her heart or something, "Aww, that's so sweet. Who would want to abandon such an adorable thing?"

"Hi master I'm back!" Gir appeared out of nowhere with the leash, "OK let's go!"

I grabbed his leash and we started walking, "Probably someone who thought he was really stupid," I said to Dare.

"Poor thing," she replied. "Just so you know, I know that Gir was embarrassing you over the phone and you were getting defensive and all that crap; I'm just telling you that I believe you and I don't think you like me either anyway."

"Oh... M'kay."

It was quiet for a little while until we rounded the block and Delilah spoke up. "So, how's your lip doin'?" she asked me sweetly/innocently.

I completely forgot about that. "It's better,"

"Good,"

Miraculously, Gir was being pretty quiet; just a whistle or two, nothing more.

I heard something ring. "That's my cell phone," Dare said.

Who has a ringtone that goes:

_If there was a question about my intentions,  
I'll tell ya,  
I'm not here to sell ya,  
or tell ya to get to hell  
(I'm not a brat like that!)_

_I'm like a puzzle but all of my pieces are jagged.  
If you can understand this,  
We can make some magic;  
I'm wrong like that._

_I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go;  
I wanna be a part of something I don't know.  
And if you try to hold me back I might explode.  
Baby by now you should know..._

_I CAN'T BE TAMED!_

"Aw shit, Aaron," she said. "Hey, bro... What?... No I'm not with anybody right now," She gestured that me and Gir shut up and be quiet. "So what happened?... Oh OK, I'll make sure of that... _And_ I promise I won't do _that_ in front of everybody... Hey, you don't have that ability of your own... Yeah, _only_ when _no one_ is looking... M'kay... Love you, brother, and bye."

She hung up. "Who was that?" Gir asked.

"My older brother Aaron; he doesn't like _anybody_ around me at all. I don't know why he's so paranoid all the time,"

We continued walking. Everything was quiet and peaceful; nobody said anything.

Out of nowhere, Dare's eyes became more alert, looking more paranoid than she was a second ago. "Wait!" she stopped walking. Her normal brown eyes turned into hazel cats' eyes and narrowed into slivers... Or was that my imagination? "We're being watched; I can scent something familiar, like I've been with it before, but-"

WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT STUPID HUMAN FEMALE TALKING ABOUT? I cut her off for a second, "It's probably that Dib worm; he's always trying to prove that I'm an alien to everybody but I think he's just obsessed or something."

"That's right," she replied, "DIB! GET YOUR PARANORMAL ASS OUT HERE!" Good Lord she sounded intimidating.

I saw a silhouette escape from the rooftop. "Over there," I pointed out.

She paused a second and said, "Hey, give me a minute; I'll be right back." She vanished behind the nearest building. Her dog stayed right where it was.

But only one thing crossed my mind: _where the hell did she go?_


	6. Budding Love? Or Budding Hate?

Hey all readers! Delilah in the HOUSE!

I slipped away from Zim, thinking that he'd see me as a total _freak of nature_ if he saw me transform.

I'm a changeling, born with this power, begging to be normal again. Yeah, shapeshifters are awesome, but I just want to be like the normal kids.

Well, _he_ isn't that normal either, just saying.

I quickly morphed into a hawk and flew off to search for Dib; stupid peeping tom.

I saw a dark figure stampede across the buildings and went for it. He had the lightning hair that school Dib had, so it must have been him.

When I was about two feet above him, I morphed into a tigress and took him down. Because female tigers take things down HARD.

"What were you doing stalking Delilah and Zim?" I menacingly whispered in his ear. I turned him over so I could see his face. It _was_ Dib but he had a lot of that paranormal crap on his head. I shoved the tinted goggles from his eyes and pressed my claws to his neck.

This was me in homicidal form.

Dib started shaking his head. "That tiger just _talked_ to me?" He said surprised. Oh yeah, and I can talk when I'm an animal, too.

In fact, I always _could_ understand what creatures were saying the whole time; I just bug Calli all the time because I just want a good laugh. LOL.

"Yeah, I just _did_ talk to you. Leave those kids alone; especially Zim, the poor thing needs privacy, ya know that?"

"But he's an ALIEN! I got proof right here!" He showed me a camera, but I was kind of mad at him, so I took it and crushed it with one paw.

But what kind of idiot would show off his camera to a freaking TIGER!

"Dammit! That was the only proof I had of Zim!"

I was getting bored. "Look here, Ghostbuster, try not to get on my nerves; you _know_ what will happen..." I unsheathed my claws on both front paws and raised my eyebrow at him. And yes, animals can have eyebrows, too.

I must have made him wet his pants. "OK, OK! I'll lay off the spying for a little while, freaky talking tiger that makes me think I'm dreaming..."

I flicked my striped bangs out of my face. Yes, creatures with fur can have bangs, too. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. But in human form, I don't have bangs; I'm just explaining. "No, you're in real life."

I left him unhurt on the rooftop and when he wasn't noticing, I morphed into a bat. It was night already?

I flew towards where I left Zim. He was still standing there with Kes and Gir. I hovered over the spot where I 'vanished' and wandered into Zim's sight.

"Where were you?" He asks like he was worried.

"Nowhere; do you actually _care_ where I was?"

Kes barked. She's really pretty, an amazing brown brindle and mahogany trim; black paws and muzzle.

"No of course I don't care!" he retorted, "Zim only cares about Zim and nobody else!"

"If you don't care about anybody but yourself, E.T., then why did you agree to walk our dogs together?"

Zim looked stupefied. I cracked up at his face. "Stop laughing; and did you just call me E.T.?"

I stopped chuckling, "Yes I did, _extraterrestrial_,"

He turned red, anger and embarrassment at the same time. I answered with a smirk, "Let's go home now."

"_Yes_;_ let's_," he replied meanly.

"Ah yes, my _narcissistic master_," I replied sarcastically as Zim shoved me aside, yanking Gir with him.

He stopped in his tracks. I think I got on his last nerve. This took me by surprise; he screamed. "I can't take it anymore, you vain, know-it-all, smart-ass, lousy, slutty, human BITCH!" He turned towards me, "You are NOT smarter than the almighty powerful ZIM! I will someday RULE this FILTHY planet AND have you BEG FOR _MERCY_ while you will get _NONE_!"

Holy shit, anger management problems, much?

I remained unmoved by that insult. Out of his backpack, these metal tentacles slashed and whipped out at me. I grabbed a few and yanked Zim up to my face. I brushed some hair back out of my face and stared at him angrily and seriously.

"Oh, so you want to rule the world, huh? I guess Dib was right about you being an alien; but either way, I can kill you in _so many ways_ right here and now." He looked at me awestruck. "You have _no fucking idea_ who you're messing with right now, asshole, and if you ever try anything like this again, I'm going to _personally_ track you down and _murder_ you. Then I can hide the body wherever I want and _nobody_ will _ever_ find your dead, lifeless, rotting body, you _jerk_.

"And yet, I find interest in you." I concluded my threat. Zim just looked at me with the same awestruck expression on his face.

He finally asked, "Are you _threatening me_?"

I let go of the tentacles as he retracted them back into his Pak. "Yes I was, actually. But I'll leave you with this:" I held his shoulder and kissed his cheek. And honestly, does this boy _ever_ not blush?

I let go of his shoulder and grabbed my dog's leash. "And apparently," I stated, "you weren't kidding about the whole '_tentacle rape_' thing, were you?" I walked away from him towards where I lived.

"You will never be more superior than ZIIIM!" He called out to me.

"Keep telling yourself that!" I retorted.

"BYE, BYE!" called Gir. He's so cute.


	7. Looking Back

Yo, guys! Dare in the room!

I change my opening every chapter so don't get all snappy 'bout that.

Remember when Aaron called me while Zim and I were halfway up the block? He was just reminding me not to _shapeshift_ in front of everybody.

He's too overprotective sometimes.

I took the house key from my pocket and unlocked the door. I let Kes into the backyard to play for sometime.

Calli came up to me and purred some more. "I told you I wouldn't be gone for long," I replied to her mews.

She looked at me innocently. "Yeah," I whispered, "I was with Zim..."

My mom came down from the stairs. She wasn't here last time because she was working. Mom is a nurse that has to wake up at 5:00 in the morning and be at work by 5:50. But at least she comes home early; like about 4:30.

She looks a lot like Aaron. She's two inches taller than him and about a head taller than me. Aaron is my half-brother on Mom's side of the family. Whenever I go to my father's house, he doesn't go with me. You'll know he's on _Mom's_ side because they have the EXACT SAME colored hair (dirty blonde). _My_ father's hair is black, so _I'm_ dark brunette.

Oh but _who cares_?

I KISSED ZIM TONIGHT! HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO HATE ME. Ha ha.

"Hi, Delilah," greeted Mom.

"Hey, Mom," I replied.

"What happened to your shirt?" I guess _SOMEBODY_ finally noticed the _freaking blood_ on my shirt.

"Oh, this kid I was talking to today at school, He got a nosebleed on me. I had half a mind to beat the crap out of him!"

"I'll wash it for you." She tried to take off my shirt.

"NOT THIS SECOND, MOM! I'm wearing it!"

"Then change into your PJ's."

"M'kay," I went upstairs and changed into a short leopard print/pink trim nightgown. I came downstairs with my shirt and tossed it to Mom.

"Thanks, sweetie." She went to the laundry room.

Aaron whistled; "Dude, I now see _why_ every straight guy on the planet wants you badly!"

I looked at him, pissed off. "Well. It's not MY fault that I'm pretty,"

"Whatever, sis,"

I love my brother, but sometimes he's just like the boobs that would _kill and die_ for me.

God, _what intelligence does any boy have? Anything? I'm LOSING IT!_

I went back up to my room. I saw on my clock that it was freaking _9:20_!

I looked out my window and saw that Zim was walking into his house.

_How do I feel about Zim?_ I thought.

But the lyrics of one song came to mind at that time:

_Now, he's wrapped around her finger,_

_She's the center of his whole world._

_And his heart belongs to that_

_Sweet, little, beautiful, wonderful,_

_Perfect All-American Girl._

It was _All-American Girl_ by Carrie Underwood.

I whispered some lyrics to myself: _be honest, tell me what you want..._

I really liked Zim. He probably didn't like me back, though. No matter how nice, tough, beautiful, smart, hard-to-get I was.

I lied down on my bed and shut my eyes: forever to walk the dark plains and shrill forests of false love.


	8. The SignUp Sheet

Agent Mothman, reporting.

What?

Zim and Dare have an opening, why can't I?

It was the next day, and I was still scarred by that weird talking tiger.

"Ms. Bitters," I noticed a strange clipboard on her desk, "What's that clipboard for?"

"You'll find out in a minute," she said angrily. She says everything like that so just imagine that every time she talks.

It was taking Zim over 10 minutes to get to class. When he got here finally, he had a few scratches on his face and a black eye. "What happened to you, _alien boy_?"

"I tripped over the curb, thinking, of stuff," he replied.

"Oh, Zim!" cried Delilah sarcastically; "Was it those _horrible_ _FANGIRLS_ again?"

"Shut up," he said as he sat down.

"Fine," started Ms. Bitters, "Now that every wretched child is here, I can finally say what this wretched clipboard is for:" Everybody leaned forward, except Delilah; she was totally _past the front of her desk_. "This clipboard is the sign-up sheet for the Annual Talent Show."

Delilah _screamed bloody murder_!

We all looked at her like Ms. Bitters kissed a student.

WTF!

_WTF!_

"YOUNG LADY!" yelled Ms. Bitters, "SIT DOWN NOW OR THIS WILL FOREVER BE ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD!"

"M'kay, fine," Dare reluctantly sat down.

_**

* * *

**_

The day had finally ended and we were free to sign our names onto the talent show clipboard.

And of course, Dare was there. "Hey, Delilah," I said. I walked up to her.

"Oh hey, Dib; Are you doing anything for the talent show?" Good Lord, _why is my heart beating like I'm dying?_

"Uuhh, I was, actually," I lied.

"Oh, I was going to ask you if you could be in my performance, but I guess not." She looked pretty put down.

"Wait; I can!"

"No, it's OK; I _wanna_ hear you sing by yourself. I'm kind of excited, actually."

DAMMIT I BLEW IT! I COULD HAVE BEEN WITH HER! HAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH! WHY DID I LIE! "So... What are you doing?"

"I'm singing _California Gurls_ by Katy Perry, featuring Snoop Dogg."

"Cool! I'm singing, too."

"But I don't have anybody to play Snoop Dogg,"

"Oh; are you sure I can't do it?"

"You said that you were singing something, didn't you?"

"Well, I-" She cut me off before I could finish.

"Oh mai God, I have an IDEA for who should play Snoop Dogg!" She sprinted off calling "ZIM, ZIM; I NEED TO ASK YOU A FAVOR!"

It was always Zim all the time. I... Like her, too!

In fact I found some lyrics to a song (_Crazy for This Girl_; Evan & Jaron) about how I feel:

_Would you look at her,  
she looks at me;  
she's got me thinking about her constantly.  
But she don't know how I feel.  
And as she carries on without a doubt,  
I wonder if she's figured out  
I'm crazy for this girl;  
Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl._

Stop judging me.

Well, since I told her that was signing up, I might as well. I jotted down 'Dib Membrane; Singing: _Leavin'_ by Jesse McCartney'.

My jaw dropped when I saw whose name was written down:

_ZIM!_

One thing: _can't read his, can't read his, no I can't read his HANDWRITING!_ (Poker Face)

I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT NOW!

But he only wrote down his name; I had no clue what he was really doing.

"I can't wait to see him fail," I smirked to myself.


	9. Dare's Performance Rehearsal with GIR

I am ZIM!

Before you ask, the reason I fell on the curb was because I was thinking of how I was going to deal with Delilah today.

And speaking of Delilah... "ZIM, ZIM! I NEED TO ASK YOU A FAVOR!"

I turned, I saw Dare coming to me. "What?" I asked.

"I need to borrow Gir... It's for my performance in the talent show!" she panted.

"Uuhh, sure,"

"Thank you SO much. And about last night..." She looked down.

"Listen, don't sweat it. Just focus on the talent show with Gir. It's fine."

"Thanks," she _hugged_ me. "You know, I've never heard you say anything _inspirational_ like that before,"

I shoved her away. "I haven't; and that _kiss_... Did you mean that?"

Her eyes darted a few times. I looked at her smugly. "Can you not resist the temptations of _ZIM_?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled, "Maybe, maybe not, I guess we'll never know,"

She brushed my shoulder as she walked past me. "I'll come over for Gir every other day starting tonight, OK? Just letting you know."

Stupid human emotions are setting off my hormones.

"I'll see you," I called.

"Yeah,"

_**

* * *

**_

"GIR! Put your disguise on; Dare should be here any minute now." I told him already about the talent show with Delilah and he said OK.

I heard the doorbell as I was putting on my wig. I made sure I had both my lenses in.

Gir got the door. "Hiya!" he greeted Dare.

"Hey, Gir; you all ready? Got that orange smoothie and the popsicles I wanted?"

"Yea right here!" he pulled out the cooler with about 20 popsicles and 10 smoothies.

"_WHY_ do you need smoothies and popsicles for this rehearsal?" I asked.

WTF?

"You'll see in the actual performance," Dare replied.

"Dis is gonna be FUUUUUUUUUUUUNNN!" added Gir.

_**

* * *

**_

Just so you know, Monday, October 13th is the talent show. And Ms. Bitters also said that the Halloween Party Dance is on Friday, October 24th.

Believe it or not, Dare was acting _shocked_ that they put it on the 24th.

I don't know _why_ though.


	10. Dib's Visit

I am ZIM!

I just remembered to call my Tallest to let them know how I was doing. I peeled off the lenses and ripped off my wig.

The screen finally worked and showed my leaders. "Hey! My Tallest!"

"What is it this time, Zim?" said Red.

I was trying to think of something to say, but I managed not to embarrass myself: "It appears that a _hyoo-man_ has fallen in love with Ziiiiiiiiiimmm,"

My Tallest burst out laughing. Purple asked after he was finished, "How could a stupid human bitch fall for _you_?"

"Apparently, she could not resist the temptations of ZIM," I replied.

They just laughed harder at this. "Hey, we'll call you back, Zim!" said Red.

"But, wait!" I cried. They hung up anyway.

"Hmp, no matter; I was just going to say that I have chosen to _not_ like her. It is the wrong way of nature; she is not of the Irken race. And Zim shall _never_ stoop to that low of a level. When I destroy the planet, I will have no mercy on her just as the rest of the human worms that live on this filthy world. And yet I still wonder _why_ she finds interest in me." I started pacing back and forth, "and besides, what is there to her? I admit, she isn't the ugliest human on this planet, and isn't the dumbest, and... She never backs down without a fight; she _never_ gives up and _always_ toughs out every obstacle that is put in front of her. As far as I know, she has no shame and cares nothing about her record on this world (which probably already isn't that spotless). The girl isn't dumb, I know that: she is almost as intelligent as my Tallest and could never be killed without catching a nasty scar myself. She is a good protector to the ones she loves and would be amazing if she was Irken herself and just disguised as a pure human, almost like Tak. If I was truly human, I would make her my, ugh, _best friend_ for protection to myself and my belongings. And I can always swear that there's something that she's hiding form me. But she is human and I am Irken; nothing to it. Why am I still even talking about this crap? I don't like her and yet I can't stop talking... Is this _denial_? Am I _REALLY_ in love with a pathetic _human_?"

I felt like I was going to lose it. Do I really like her?

No.

I refuse to.

I sat on the couch and flicked on the TV. Gir left the channel on the Angry Monkey Show.

That show has no taste in talent whatsoever.

But I didn't really care at all. I just wanted to know how I really feel...

I heard the doorbell again. Was Delilah already done with Gir? It was only about an hour.

I didn't bother to put my disguise on and opened the door. "What's it like having a _crush_, space kid?"

Dammit, it was Dib.

I was already bored with this crap, "What do ya want with me today, worm?"

"It's fine! I don't have any cameras on me today! I just want to know how love works on _your_ planet."

I growled, "And _WHY_ would you want to know that?"

Dib looked at me all innocently and shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine," I gave in, "If you are _dying_ to know so _badly_, I do think Delilah has had eyes for me; she's been flirting since the first day she was here, actually."

"What? You think I don't _know_ that? YOU are the one that STOLE her!"

"Wha'?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you! _I_ was about to be in HER performance but she thought of YOU first! It's _all your FAULT_, you space _JERK_! Now _I_ have to watch YOU be in the talent show with her! Do you have ANY IDEA how pissed off I am at you!" He shoved me back into my house. That really ticked me off.

"What are you _talking_ about? She wanted _Gir_, not _me_!" I retorted quickly. "Where do you think Gir is now, _huh_?"

Dib was still pissed, but he replied, "Fine, jerk." He stalked away from the door.

Something told me that this wasn't the last time I'd fight Dib for Dare.


	11. That STUPID Gnome!

Playin' with my hair right now. Hello, to all, this is Dare!

"Nice job Gir,"

"Dawwww, thanks Dare,"

"I said that I'd take you home about now so let's go," I grabbed Gir's pack for him. He took it.

"Ya sure you don't want waffles?"

"No, I already ate; sorry,"

"Ya know, I think you should ask Zim out someday," That came at me unexpectedly.

"No, no, he _hates me_,"

"No he doesn't," We started walking down to Zim's house, "he likes you!"

"Pft, yeah right," I retorted.

"No honestly, you two look so cute!"

"... Thanks Gir; m'kay we're here, I'll see you in two days?"

"OK!" He rang the doorbell.

Zim opened it, "Hey Gir, come," Gir went inside. "Dare, listen, I think it would be nice if we were..." he said this like he was in pain, "_ffrrrieeennnddsssss_ together..." He was waiting for me to respond.

I blushed a little, "Oh, ummm, sure that's good,"

"OK, I'll see you,"

"See you Zim,"

He walked off his porch but stared at the freaky looking garden gnomes. They were really creeping me out.

Out of nowhere, one gnome came towards me a little. I yelped and used a strong kick on it. The head shattered and I crippled the torso.

But I'd just noticed that my foot had morphed into a lion's claw. On my feet, they look more like fuzzy boots.

I quickly morphed into full human and sprinted before Zim found out what happened to my foot and the gnome.

_Aww shit, I am SOOOOOO busted for this!_ I thought.


	12. The Start of the Show

I am ZIM!

Finally! It's Monday!

I finally get to see if Delilah's going to win the talent show today!

EXCITEMENT! MUWWAAAHAHHAHAAHA!

Also, Dib lied. I never wrote my name down on the sign-up sheet.

I think he just put it there so he could just do the '_can't read his handwriting'_ thing. And he probably just wanted to use 'Zim' and 'fail' in the same sentence.

What is wrong with that kid?

I'm just happy that Gir's Snoop Dogg and not me.

We all piled up into the auditorium. And remember those brain popularity scanners that were used when the school was choosing a new president? We got those put on our heads today again.

And you won't believe this: Dare came to school in a _whole freaking different outfit_ today.

Here I'll describe it: she was wearing a white/light purple tiger-striped bikini top with short faded denim shorts, a dark purple wig that was topped with white/light purple tiger-striped _cat ears_, white/light purple striped fuzzy tiger boots (that really looked like the real deal), and she had a _real freaking (you think she really had one) TAIL!_

So yeah, MANY boys were drooling a little; even ME.

Me, Dib, and Dare were standing next to each other. I didn't notice Dib until Delilah asked him, "So Dib, what are you going to do?"

"I want to keep it a secret for now," he replied. He gave me the evil eye. I returned the look.

Our Student Council President, Willy, announced, "Thank you all for coming to our wonderfully sophisticated Annual Talent Show! I am proud to say that we had many amazing try-outs and wish we could have included _everybody_ in this shindig!"

"Does _anybody_ say 'shindig' anymore?" Dare whispered while Willy was still talking. I shrugged.

"And now," Willy stated, "our first performer will be..."

"DARE CALICO!" Many of the boys yelled her name, including Dib.

Turns out it was that blonde-haired girl Olivia playing the piano and singing _Bad Romance_, Lady GaGa.

There were many other horrible skits, but these are the only ones that I'm going talk about: Dib and Dare's.

"And now, put your hands together for Dib Membrane!"

Dib's eyes lit up and he ran upstage. "Uuhh, thank you, this is... _Leavin'_ by Jesse McCartney,"

The music started with a foot-tapping beat, but I suspected that he wouldn't do the best in the performance.

There were barely any dance moves; Dib was just tapping his foot to the beat, but the actual song was great (I admit).

_[Intro]_

_Hey baby girl, I've been watching you all day (all day, all day, all day)  
Man, that thing you got behind you is amazing (amazing, amazing, amazing)  
You make me want to take you out and let it rain (let it rain, let it rain, let it rain)  
I know you got a man, but this is what you should say  
Why won't you tell him that_

_I'm leavin', never to come back again  
You found somebody who does it better than he can  
No more making you cry, no more them gray skies  
Girl we flying on that G-5, G-5_

_And we're leavin', never to come back again  
So call him shorty and tell him you found a new man  
The one that so, so fly  
The one that keep you high  
Have you singing all night like, like_

_Oooh oooh oooh (oh)  
Oooh oooh  
Man she gon' be singing (she gon' be singing like)  
Oooh oooh oooh  
Oooh oooh_

_Now if I talk it girl you know that I'ma walk it out (walk it out, walk it out, walk it out)  
Man, I put my money, money where my mouth is (mouth is, mouth is, mouth is)  
'Cause you're the baddest little thing that I've ever seen (ever seen, ever seen, ever seen)  
So I'ma ask you one time if you got a man  
Why don't you tell him that_

_I'm leavin', never to come back again  
You found somebody who does it better than he can  
No more making you cry, no more them gray skies  
Girl we flying on that G-5, G-5_

_And we're leavin', never to come back again  
So call him shorty and tell him you found a new man  
The one that so, so fly  
The one that keep you high  
Have you singing all night like, like_

_Oooh oooh oooh (oh)  
Oooh oooh  
Man she gon' be singing  
Oooh oooh oooh (she gon' be singing, oh, she gon' be singing)  
Oooh oooh oooh (she gon' be singing, you got me saying))_

_Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress  
Just tell him to the left, left, left  
Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress  
'Cause we gone and we gone and we gone_

_No stress, no stress, no stress  
Girl you deserve nothing but the best  
No stress, no stress, no stress  
Girl you need to tell him that_

_I'm leavin', never to come back again  
You found somebody who does it better than he can  
No more making you cry, no more them gray skies  
Girl we flying on that G-5, G-5_

_And we're leavin', never to come back again  
So call him shorty and tell him you found a new man  
The one that so, so fly  
The one that keep you high  
Have you singing all night like, like_

_Oooh oooh oooh  
Oooh oooh  
Man she gon' be singing  
Oooh oooh oooh  
Oooh oooh_

_She got me singing all night like, like, like, liiike_

_Oooh oooh oooh  
Oooh oooh  
Man she gon' be singing  
Oooh oooh oooh (she gon' me singing, oh she gon' me singing)  
Oooh oooh (she gon' me singing, girl you gon' me singing)_

After the song was over I looked over at Delilah and she seemed to be, like, _swooning_ over Dib.

"Thank you," he said as he walked off stage. Since he's not that popular among the students, it was a shock that he was actually _cheered for_ by the audience.

After a few more terrible performances, the one we've all been waiting for came:

_Delilah_.


	13. Dare's Final Performance

I am ZIM!

Again, it was finally Delilah's turn up on stage. "And as our last performance today," started Willy, "Here is... DELILAH (DARE) CALICO!" Everybody cheered as Dare yanked off her Brain Popularity Scanner and set off like Mimi (Tak's SIR unit) to the stage. Gir was up there already, with a baseball cap on backwards and a _big ass plastic gold chain_ on his neck.

She grabbed the microphone and almost screamed into the mike, "And are you ready to get this damn thing started?"

Everyone screamed like Miley Cyrus was up there.

"Yeah! You ready, Gir?"

"WHOOOOOOT!"

OK, there _were_ lots of moves that Gir and Dare had incorporated into the dance. Here's the key:

_What Dare is singing_

_(What Gir is singing)_

[Dance move that Dare does]

{Dance move that Gir does}

-Dance move that both do-

Got it? Good, you better. If you still don't understand it even after you read it, I recommend reading it _while_ you're listening to the song.

Then the song started after Dare and Gir high-fived.

_(Greetings loved ones;  
let's take a journey!) _{thumbs-up}

_I _[thumbs at self]_ know a place  
Where the grass is really greener _[sweeping motion with arm]_  
Warm,_ [fans self with hand]_ wet and wild _[makes claws with fingers]_  
There must be somethin' in the water -_wave motion with arms-

_Sippin' _{throws orange smoothie at Dare} [catches it]_ gin and juice  
Layin' underneath the palm trees _[lies down, tosses smoothie into crowd]_ The boys _[pops up] {tweaks head}_  
Break their necks _[breaks Gir's neck] {falls down, face first}_  
Try'na creep a little sneak peek _[puts hand over eyes] {head pops up} _(What, what, what?) _{gets up}

_You could travel the world _[sweeping motion over head]_  
But nothing comes close _[snaps twice to beat]_  
To the Golden Coast _[sweeping motion across crowd]_  
Once you party with us _-four fist pumps to beat_-  
You'll be falling in love _[draws heart in air]_  
Oooooh oh oooooh_

_California girls _[struts two steps]_  
We're unforgettable _[struts back]_  
Daisy Dukes _[shimmies down and back up]_  
Bikinis on top _[snaps bikini strap]_  
Sun-kissed skin -_blows kiss, turns around_-  
So hot _[arms up, jazz hands] {throws grape popsicle at Dare} [catches it, turns around]_  
We'll melt your Popsicle  
Oooooh oh oooooh _[tosses popsicle at crowd]

_California girls _[struts other way]_  
We're undeniable _[struts back]_  
Fine,_-peace sign over eyes- _fresh,_-swipes arms_- fierce _[fingers into claws]_  
We got it on lock  
West coast represent _[swings hips]_  
Now put your hands up _[puts both arms up, right has mike]_  
Oooooh oh oooooh_

_Sex _[swings hips one way]_ on the beach _[swings other way]_  
We don't mind sand in our Stilettos _-kicks high in the air_-  
We freak _[smiles mischievously]_  
In my Jeep -_honks horn twice_-  
Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo _[points at Gir] {smiles happily}

_You could travel the world _[sweeping motion over head]_  
But nothing comes close _[snaps twice to beat]_  
To the Golden Coast _[sweeping motion across crowd]_  
Once you party with us _-four fist pumps to beat_-  
You'll be falling in love _[draws heart in air]_  
Oooooh oh oooooh_

_California girls _[struts two steps]_  
We're unforgettable _[struts back]_  
Daisy Dukes _[shimmies down and back up]_  
Bikinis on top _[snaps bikini strap]_  
Sun-kissed skin _-blows kiss, turns around-_  
So hot _[arms up, jazz hands] {throws grape popsicle at Dare} [catches it, turns around]_  
We'll melt your Popsicle  
Oooooh oh oooooh _[tosses popsicle at crowd]

_California girls _[struts other way]_  
We're undeniable _[struts back]_  
Fine,-_peace sign over eyes- _fresh,_-swipes arms-_ fierce _[fingers into claws]_  
We got it on lock  
West coast represent _[swings hips]_  
Now put your hands up _[puts both arms up]_  
Oooooh oh oooooh_

[turns around 180, swinging hips repeatedly to beat, has spotlight on Gir] {grabs mike from Dare}

_(Toned, tanned  
Fit and ready  
Turn it up 'cause it's gettin' heavy  
Wild, wild West coast  
These are the girls I love the most  
I mean the ones  
I mean like she's the one  
Kiss her  
Touch her  
Squeeze her buns) Ah!_

_(The girl's a freak  
She drives a Jeep  
and lives on the beach  
I'm okay  
I won't play  
I love the Bay  
Just like I love L.A.  
Venice Beach  
And Palm Springs  
Summertime is everything)_

_(All the boys  
Bangin' out  
All that ass  
Hangin' out  
Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis  
No weenies  
Just the king  
And the queen-ie)_

_(Katy my lady,) Yeah?_

_(You're lookin' here baby!) Uh-huh!_

_(I'm all up on you  
Cause you represent me, California) _[turns around, grabbing mike back]

_California girls _[struts two steps]_  
We're unforgettable _[struts back]_  
Daisy Dukes _[shimmies down and back up]_  
Bikinis on top _[snaps bikini strap]_  
Sun-kissed skin -_blows kiss, turns around_-  
So hot _[arms up, jazz hands] {throws grape popsicle at Dare} [catches it, turns around]_  
We'll melt your Popsicle  
Oooooh oh oooooh _[tosses popsicle at crowd]

_California girls _[struts other way]_  
We're undeniable _[struts back]_  
Fine,-_peace sign over eyes- _fresh,_swipes arms_ fierce _[fingers into claws]_  
We got it on lock  
(West coast) West coast (West coast) represent _[swings hips]_  
Now put your hands up _[puts both arms up]_  
Oooooh oh oooooh (eh! eh!)_

_California, (California girls, man)_

_California, (I wish they all could be  
California girls)_

_California (I really wish  
you all could be  
California girls!)_

She ended the song with Gir knee-sliding to the front while she does a back hand-spring.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FREAKING IDEA HOW _LONG_ THAT TOOK ME TO TYPE?

"Thank you, everyone," she said, "and thank you too, Gir,"

He smiled. She walked off the stage and everyone cheered.

All except me.

I was staring at her the entire time, completely love struck.

I was in love. I was in love. I was in love, in love, in love...

With a human. I _do_ love her. I had to tell her that, but when? Not now, too many people. But maybe...

Gir sometimes says I should ask her on a date. I can't believe I'm saying this, but, I think I _will_, _tonight_, even!

_What do my faithful readers think (hint, hint)?_


	14. I SHOULD HAVE WON I DID BETTER THAT YOU!

I'm a California girl! Hey, Dare's here!

It was the end of the actually show and Ms. Bitters was handing out the awards for best singers.

"And the horrible trophy for third place goes to Dib Membrane," she stated _un_excitedly.

Dib ran up and got his trophy. "And the terrible trophy for second place goes to nobody because none of you were good enough to win second place."

I felt like she was going to say something like that.

"But," Ms. Bitters said so monotonously, I thought she was going to die of boredom, "First place goes to... Olivia,"

The girl who sang _Bad Romance_? She hit every note wrong and her voice is tone deaf!

She walked up on stage so prideful and stuck-up. "I, like, just wanna, like, thank all you for, like, choosing me on top of, like, _everybody_ because I'm just so _perfect_!"

"I disagree," I retorted.

"Excuse me, useless, but, like, this is _my_ time! Not yours."

I sprinted up to the stage to ruin her 15 seconds. "Personally, I think that people like you are supposed to-"

"Just, like, _butt out_ of this, bitch!"

"You know Olivia, you really don't want to make me mad..."

"Or, like, what?"

"I make Chuck Norris wet his pants."

The crowd gasped. I think someone yelled "CHUCK NORRIS IS AFRAID!" or something.

"Well, ya know _WHAT_? I-" Somebody in the crowd interrupted Olivia.

"Coming through! Move it! Get out! Out of the way! Stupid human worm!" It was _Zim_.

He made it up to the stage and climbed on. He snorted and brushed himself off. Zim walked up to Olivia and yanked the trophy away like taking candy from a baby.

Then he held it up to _me_.

I took it and he held my arm in the air with the trophy. And he smiled at me. No one cheered for Olivia, but _the whole freaking school_ cheered for me!

"Thank you," I whispered to Zim.

"Hey, you won fair and square; I was just pointing it out to everybody." I blushed.

Then out of the blue, Olivia started sobbing.

I NOW FELT SO _FRIGGIN_ HAPPY!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

IN YOUR _FACE_!

"Aww, don't worry; maybe someday you'll be one of those crummy child actors in two-star movies!" I de-motivated her.

This was fun!


	15. A Date? Whut?

I hair-flip you; Delilah here!

I walked home with Gir at my side, "That was THE AWESOMEST thing that we've EVER done!" I started.

"I knows, huh?" Gir still had the chain and the hat on him.

We reached the doorstep of my house and I waved goodbye to my favorite puppy. I was still wearing wig and the outfit; in case you didn't guess, the ears and the tail and the fuzzy tiger boots were _fucking real_. I'm a shapeshifter, remember?

I closed the door behind me and ripped off the wig. I ruffled my down hair. "Good Lord, that thing was itchy!"

I went up to my bathroom and wiped off all the eye shadow and lip gloss I had on. It's hard being pretty.

I retracted my tail quickly before anyone could see and I folded my ears, they disappeared on top of my head. I morphed my calves into normal human legs. PS- I dyed those white and light purple, when I shapeshift into those again, they should have the original color scheme.

I walked into my room and changed into my regular clothes: the green camo t-shirt (with hood + middle pocket) and non-distressed denim Bermudas.

"Dare," called Aaron from the kitchen as I came out, "Your hair looks better in purple,"

I scowled at him, "Yeah, thanks,"

"And remember that Zim-kid?"

"Yeah?"

"I think he's OK." He smiled evilly at me.

My eyes pinpointed at him. "Well, who asked you?" I shouted.

"Delilah," Mom intervened from in front of the TV, "Don't yell at your brother,"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, _mother_,"

Then I heard the doorbell ring.

"I got it," I said, for, I think I'll know who it'll be.

I walked up to the door and fluffed my hair a little. Just to make sure, I whiffed in deeply to try and smell who it was.

Whoever this person is, _he doesn't have a natural scent_.

_He doesn't smell like ANYTHING!_

In case you don't know this, that's IMPOSSIBLE. EVERYONE has a scent.

I swung open the door; I didn't _bother_ looking through the peephole.

I opened my eyes a little wider than a second ago.

"_Zim?_"

He was standing there, blushing and smiling at the same time. "Uuhh, hi Dare," he greeted.

My eyes were still a bit like saucers. I blinked to make them normal round-almond-shaped again. "Oh... Hello, Zim; how ya doin'?"

"Before you say anything, I _need_ to ask you something really important:" he replied.

"O-M-G!" added Aaron sarcastically, "Do NOT tell me! You're, like, _in love_?"

I scratched the side of my head. "Will you please _S-T-F-U_!"

He stuck his tongue out at me.

I guess Zim finally brought up the courage to say it finally, "_Will you PLEASE go out with me?_" he asked pretty quickly.

I kind of flinched at the question. He sounded really desperate! I couldn't say no...

I nodded to him. I turned my head and said to my mom, "Hey MOM, I'm going out with a friend, OK?"

"OK, but _DO NOT_ come back later than eight!"

"Thanks Mom I won't!"

"Sooooooo, when do you want to go?" Zim asked me.

I paused for a minute. Then I answered, "How about now?"

His eyes opened in surprise. I grabbed my black music note trim jacket and tied it to my waist.

I shut the door behind me as I took Zim by the neck and walked off my porch.

I knew that this night might change me a little.


	16. Smoothies, So Romantic

ROFLOL! It's Dare! Haha!

I'm happy.

Do you know why?

BECAUSE ZIM ASKED ME OUT THAT'S WHY I'M SO MOTHERFUCKIN' HAPPY!

I freaking feel like singing!

I let go of Zim's neck in embarrassment. We were walking towards that smoothie store that Gir goes to 24/7 according to Zim. We just walked and talked.

"Hey, sorry bout' grabbing your neck like that," I apologized.

"It's fine, honestly," he replied.

I turned my head and blushed a little; what gonna happen tonight? Does he like me? Is it a prank? Somebody tell me!

I could sense that he was just as anxious as I was actually.

We were pretty quiet for the rest of the walk. We wandered into the city and Zim took my hand so I wouldn't get lost; there were so many freaking people, I'm not surprised that he did that!

He finally yanked me inside the smoothie shop. "Damn," I said, "so many pushy bastards on the streets!"

Zim nodded and we pretty much walked right up to the cashier.

I ordered before he could say hi, "I'd like a banana-cookie dough slushie; thick and please leave the cookie dough bites unstirred, please." I looked at Zim, waiting for him to order.

"Blue-strawberry; nothin' special," he added.

"Coming right up," said the teenager behind the desk, very monotone kid.

I turned to Zim, "_Blue-strawberry_?" I whispered, "That's like the most boring thing on the menu!" It was only blueberry and strawberry blended together.

He shrugged, "Well, I like the taste,"

"M'kay, that's all I'm sayin',"

"Kay," he replied. He put his arm on my shoulder and smiled at me. I was surprised, but I smiled back.

"And here are your smoothies, that'll be $7.05," said the kid.

"Damn! I forgot my Earth-moneys!" Zim said, checking his pockets.

"I got it," I said. I pulled a $20 from my back pocket and gave it to the kid.

"You had that already?" he asked me.

"I never leave my house without at least a $10,"

"And $12.95 is your change, please come again,"

I grabbed my smoothie and my change. "We'll see." I shoved the money in my pocket and grabbed Zim's smoothie. We walked out and I gave it to him.

I took first slurp. "Dare," Zim started, "before I take you home, I want to show you somewhere,"

My eyes lit up, "Where?" I asked curiously.

He smiled (God! Why didn't anybody tell me he had a bad boy smile?), "You'll see it,"

He took my arm and we ran across town.


	17. The Cliff

I am ZIM!

I asked Dare on a date. SHE SAID YES!

Now I was taking her up one of those romantic cliff spots.

I was barely holding on to my slurpie as we sprinted up the hill, still holding on to Dare's wrist.

"Almost there!" I said.

I let go of her arm at the top of the hill and... I saw that she was amazed; there was a strongly scented Japanese cherry tree on the cliff and you could see the whole city in its view.

"Wow," she said really, really slowly, "Zim, this is so beautiful and isolated; it's like a painting." She turned and I smiled at me.

"That's kind of why I brought you here," I replied, "Look, Delilah; I need to tell you something... It's really important,"

She sat down in front of the tree, facing the small city. She must have been speaking in another language because I didn't understand what she said in reply: "_Mi amor, nunca le dejo ir. No guarde por favor ninguÌn secreto de mí, y no guardaré ninguÌn secreto de usted_."

I shook my head to clear it out, "What?"

"I'm half Spanish; I know a thing or two about speaking it," she replied, smiling at me.

I sat down next to her. "Well, can you translate?"

"Of course, _my love, I will never let you go. Please keep no secrets from me, and I will keep no secrets from you_.

"You have an amazing accent," I complimented.

She looked down and blushed, "Thank you," she said, "but I need to tell you something, too,"

"I'll go first," I started.

"No, I will," she insisted. She sighed. "Remember today at the talent show, I had those ears... And the tail?"

"Yes, I know; you looked like an anime." It was _supposed_ to be a compliment.

"Yeah, but... Have you ever heard of a shapeshifter, or a changeling?" She looked really guilty for some reason, like she was hiding something.

"Delilah, what are you saying?" I asked soothingly, putting my hand on her shoulder.

She brushed it off. "I'm saying that _I'm not human_, I'm a _shapeshifter_," she burst out.

Did she really just say that? I don't remember seeing her that way; I still needed proof of that, but I'm still freaking surprised! "Dare, can you change into something right now?"

"Of course," she nodded, "give me something, anything,"

My eyes darted to think of some living creature. "Uuhh, cat?"

She turned into a jaguar. "You didn't say what _kind_ of cat," she smirked.

"Ooh I got one, umm, dinosaur!" She'd never get that.

She turned into some kind of 6-foot tall raptor. I freaked out and hid behind the tree. "Did velociraptor scare you? I can turn into extinct species too, you know,"

Mythical! I hadn't tried mythical! I slipped back next to her, still a velociraptor, "This one's hard: try a griffin!"

Morphed into a griffin; "Mythological creatures are as easy as the extinct ones, but my personal favorite's the Victorian cheetah."

"Wow," I could actually barely contain the amazed look on my face, "can you turn into one for me?"

She nodded. In about a full second, she was this elegant, golden-furred, black-dappled cat-beast; the moon seemed to shine on her pelt and hazel eyes. Mine just widened in astonishment. "That's amazing," I commented, "Where did you learn that?"

"I was born with these powers, as my brother told me; I remember this ability as long as I can remember," She put her head down and drifted off. I've never seen such a sleek physique on a feline. "If I know what it looks like, I can turn into it.

"My turn." She looked at me and morphed back into human form. "Mine is kind of like show n' tell:"

I took off the wig and peeled off the lenses, shamefully. I blinked my red eyes and twitched my antenna. Dare looked at me in total shock.

"Zim..." she asked, "what are you?"

I looked down. I was too pitiful to look at her face.

I wasn't worthy enough.

"I'm an alien," I answered, "I'm a warrior from the planet Irk-"

"Irken?" Dare guessed.

I am still amazed at myself that I was telling her what I've been hiding from this planet for so long. "That's it; I'm actually an invader, sent to observe this planet. And Gir isn't a real dog; he's a SIR unit, a type of robot."

"How long have you been here?"

"Eh, I guess about a year or more,"

Delilah shook her head, "I can't believe it; I'm in love with an _alien_. Dib was right about you,"

"But... you shouldn't; in a while, my leaders will send over the Armada, and destroy this world."

OK, maybe I shouldn't have said _that_.

"Just go on and kill us already," Dare sighed.

What?

"Bring your damn military to Earth and kill everyone already! I've had _ENOUGH_ of this freaking world! I _HATE_ this!"

I felt like crying. I had scared her. "Delilah, I had to tell you; you had the right to know I'm an alien,"

"It's not you! It's the _fucking bastards_ that are trying to play God with _EVERYTHING and EVERYONE_!" She put her face on her knees and burst into tears.

It wasn't me? How couldn't she be shocked? "Dare," I touched her shoulder, "what's wrong? What's the matter?"

"I..." she sobbed, "That's not my name; my _true_ name is NDH-185."

She... She's a _test subject_! I'm going to bust open these peoples' heads for treating her like this!

"I _was_ born with these powers," she continued, still crying, "but they're not natural: before I was born, when my mother was pregnant with me, I was injected with these freak genes. _Animal-Hybrid genes_. The scientists wanted to create an indestructible animal hybrid that would be used in the U.S. Army; it couldn't die, no matter _how_ many times you shot it. But when I _was_ born, I had so many tests performed on me; they classified me as a _failure_."

Oh my God...

"They let my family go free; but I know that one day, they'll come back. Please Zim," she looked at me, helpless and powerless, and still crying, "... Don't tell anybody about my abilities, I'm begging you..."

I think she was getting to me; this is... this is _sad_! "Dare, I will _never ever_ tell _anybody_ about this, even if someone threatened to kill me." I touched her face, drying the tears on her cheek. "But, out of curiosity, how do you know this?" I asked.

"My brother, Aaron, was seven when I was born; the scientists still thought of him 'stupid', so they showed him everything that they were doing. In fact, they tried to do the same thing with him too; he has nothing except a really strong memory. He told me all this when I was six. His words will pass through my head for as long as I live..." her voice trailed off again.

Her story is just... If it can touch me, it can touch _anybody_. "Delilah, you are beautiful, and you are smart, and you are special, and nobody in this universe will ever be like you in a million years!" I can't believe I said that... "And, if you really are just an experiment," I got on my knees and faced her, "you are the most taken for granted... I love you..."

Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. "Zim... I love you too."

We leaned closer to each other, "Even if I'm just a pitiful alien?"

"You're not an alien; you're just not from _this_ planet,"

After that, time just melted away. I could almost hear her heart beating faster. I felt like drifting away in bliss. I wanted to stay here forever with Dare.

Well, I guess that's what a _kiss_ feels like.


	18. The Girl That Saved the Human Race

I am Zim.

It felt like forever, but our lips finally parted. I took a hissing breath. Delilah's eyes were only half open. She twisted her head back to the view of the city.

"From here, it seems beautiful," she commented.

"It does,"

"So, what was it like? To be from another planet?"

"Well, it's not that different, actually. But it's not the same," I explained that we have different planets for different purposes, like Conventia and Foodcourtia. And of course, we conquered them all.

A slight breeze made me twitch my antenna and brushed Dare's hair into her face. She closed her eyes and breathed in, relaxed.

Her eyes opened turned cat-like and hazel; her pupils narrowed into thin slits. She blinked again, this time her eyes were normal dark cinnamon. She leaned in and whispered really softly into my antenna, "We're not alone; I'll start something, go along with it."

I nodded slightly. I put on my wig and lenses, in case.

She retracted and twirled her hair flirtatiously, "You know, Zim..." She grabbed my shoulders and pinned me on my back, "I don't feel a _true_ connection; take off the shirt, and maybe they'll be something." She winked at me; this was part of her plan.

I grinned at her, "Just try me, bitch,"

She chuckled evilly. Her eyes darted up to the tree. Then she _licked my face like a cat_.

I was grossed out, but I went with it.

I finally heard a familiar voice say, "EEWWWWWW!"

"GOT YOU BASTARD!" Delilah shouted. She morphed into a leopard and sprinted up the tree. I sat up with my shirt half on, anyway. It was actually a little funny.

"OUT OF THE TREE!"

"Stop biting me!"

"Stupid peeping tom!"

"Dammit! I'm bleeding!" I saw a few blood drops fall from the tree.

_**Smack**_

"That's my face!"

"I was aiming for your temple!"

_**Crunch**_

"STOP BITING MY ARM!"

"_That_ was supposed to be your _crotch_!"

_**Chikkkk**_

"DAMN THAT'S MY EQUIPMENT!"

I think dare morphed into something small, like a ferret or a mongoose or something.

_**Scratch Scratch**_

"Ow! Get out of my shirt!"

Dare ended it with a loud hiss and tossed Dib out of the tree. He landed on his face.

He came THIS CLOSE to falling off the mountain!

"Dib?" I asked enraged.

Dare landed gracefully on all fours out of the cherry tree. She stalked up to Dib, grabbed his neck, and morphed back into human form.

"You're... Choking me!"

"Why can't you just leave us alone! Why didn't you listen to the talking tiger?"

"You know?"

"_I_ was the tiger!"

"Let... Let go please." Dare let go of the Dib human's neck. "But I now have proof! I have proof that Zim's an alien! I says everything here!" He held up a tape recording.

He suddenly broke away from Delilah and started sprinting.

I realized something. If he had proof I wasn't human, _he had proof that Dare was a shapeshifter, too_.

I had to stop him.

I shot out the metal tentacles at Dib and wrapped around his body. I swung him over the cliff, threatening to drop him.

"You son of a bitch!" I screamed at him, "If you let those get out to the world, you'll _expose Delilah_! Did you know that? Dare will fall with me! You _KNOW_ how much you love her!"

"Zim," Delilah whispered behind me. I honestly forgot she was there.

"This is your last warning:" I growled, "give me the tape or you will die right now." I loosened the grip on his puny body, scaring the shit out of him.

"I'm not letting you get away this time, Zim!" he yelled back.

I felt like shooting lightning at him. "Well then that's just a pity,"

I dropped Dib off the cliff. I watched him fall and fall and fall. But the cliff was REALLY high so he might not even touch the ground until 5 minutes.

"Did you REALLY do that?" asked Dare, not scared, but pissed off.

"Yeah, so?"

"Ugh, I'll go save his ass." She morphed into a beautiful phoenix and dived down to Dib.

Since a phoenix is large (about the size of an F-150 Super-Duty truck), she caught him on her back. She flew straight up and morphed back into human form as soon as she touched the hillside. How can she add style to everything that she does?

Dib went splat on the grass. Dare had in her hand the tape. She crushed it with one hand and she didn't even turn into anything.

She checked the time on her watch. "Holy shit, it's already 7:30,"

"We'll need to sprint," I said.

"WHAT! You already know I can shapeshift, why don't we just fly home?"

"But I don't have a jetpack in my Pak,"

She ignored that and grabbed my wrist. She didn't change into anything and yanked me off the mountain. I screamed like a girl.

HOLY SHIT I KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING HELL THOSE BASTARD SKY DIVERS FEEL WHEN THEY FALL AND IT IS _NOT_ EXHILARATING!

"Hold on to my wrist or you're gonna die!" she yelled. I gripped her tighter. "And hold on to your hair!"

Out of nowhere, she turned into some kind of dragon thing and flew. I went landed face first on her back. Her scales were jet black and she moved at, hmm, _the freaking speed of light_.

"Night Fury, kid," she added, "You can't get a faster dragon during night!"

I looked over her left wing and saw our street in a flash of darkness. "Dare-"

"I know; I saw it first!" she interrupted. "Also, to ward of suspicion, I'll drop us a little above the lamppost, so no one will she me shapeshift,"

"That's fine,"

Without warning, she morphed like lighting back into human form, dropping me on the ground, somersaulting and landing upside down against some neighbor's fence.

But, _she_ landed gracefully on her knees in the middle of the street. "Hey, thanks for catching me," I wiped some dirt from my face.

She ran over and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Sorry, Zim,"

I swiveled around to face her, putting my hands on her shoulders. "So... I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Of course you will," she muttered. She broke away from my grasp and headed for her doorstep.

I suddenly remembered something: "Dare!"

"Yeah?" She turned around before she walked away.

"Will you go to the dance with me?"

She came back, closer to me. "After tonight, how could I ever say no?" She launched herself at me. I could barely contain her hug.

"So that's a yes?" I asked.

"Of course, you pitiful extraterrestrial," she played. She broke away and ran for her doorstep. "I'll see you tomorrow!" she called.

"Love you," I mumbled to myself.

Delilah opened the door and walked into her house.

I thought to myself, _she just saved the human race._


	19. Tallest Chat

I am ZIM!

After I looked back at Delilah, I wandered into my house, still thinking about her. Gir was watching the Angry Monkey Show.

He noticed me, "HAI MASTUH!" he greeted, waving veraciously.

"Hello Gir," I replied, happy as ever.

Gir stopped waving. "Sooooooo? How did your night gooooooooooo?"

"It went great, Gir." I walked love struck into the kitchen. I grabbed a permanent marker on the table. I ripped off my left glove and doodled: _Delilah Calico_ and a heart above it.

In Irken language so no human would understand it.

I put my glove back on as soon as my Tallest called me.

"Zim!" called Red, "We're calling you back,"

"I don't need to talk to you," I said with my head down, "Not anymore,"

"Oh," said Purple, "Ermmmm, why?"

I shook my head and smiled up at them. "I'm in love,"

I grabbed the remote and switched the communicator off. I just hung up on my Tallest! But yet, I felt good...

I sat on the couch and Gir put his little robot hand on my shoulder. "You did the right thing!" he said to me.

I looked at him and smiled, "Thanks,"

"Dawwww, somebody needs a _hug_." He wrapped his arms around me; I could barely breathe. "I _told_ you that it would work out!"

"Who are you, the Love Doctor?"

Gir finally let go of me. "Yeah I is!"

"I might need to upgrade your grammar skills,"

"I love you, MASTUH!"


	20. Detention With the One I Dream of

Agent Mothman, reporting.

It's Tuesday morning.

Yay. Sucks.

I'm going to apologize to Delilah today. I'll ask her to the dance, too, but I'm sure Zim already has her.

Also, I don't know if Zim or Dare put this on their chapters, but you _have_ to wear your Halloween costume to the dance. I STILL don't know myself what I'm going to wear!

*Sigh* I'll guess I'll wing it.

"SIT DOWN!" yelled Ms. Bitters. Everyone sat down. "Good; we'll pick up on the stupid lesson of where cave paintings came from. Turn to the page we left off!"

It was peaceful, until the class heard a terrible noise: _someone ripped the page_.

We all stared at the direction of where the sound came from. We all stared at Dare.

But she was just as surprised as the rest of us.

"YOU! Brown-haired girl!" Ms. Bitters pointed at Delilah, "Go to the principal's office! Your unruly behavior has cost you a day in detention!"

Her eyes narrowed in hostile at Ms. Bitters, but she obeyed. I couldn't let this happen. Why wasn't _Zim_ doing anything?

As Delilah slowly crept up from her seat... "No! You can't send her to the principal's office for a stupid _book_!" I shouted. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

"Dib! You go to the principal's office, too; you're annoying enough!"

"No I will not! I'm not giving in for a stupid-"

Ms. Bitters grabbed the back of my coat and _kicked_ me out. She shoved Dare out, too.

"Don't worry; I have a few tricks up my sleeve," she winked at me. I blushed. "Also, could you walk me to the principal's? I still haven't memorized the layout of the freaking school."

She helped me up from the ground. "Sure," I smiled a little, "It's this way,"

_**

* * *

**_

We've both been yelled at by the principal. Now we're just waiting out side his office for him to say we get detention.

"So," I started, full of guilt, "I'm, uh, really sorry that I, um, was spying on you and I, err, I'll _never_ tell anyone you're a shapeshifter..."

Her eyes softened. "Thank you, Dib; I'm sorry that I beat you up in the tree... Can we still be friends?"

I barely grinned, "Sure." I looked at my feet. "This is hard... Do you have a date for the dance?"

"Oh... I'm sorry, Dib, Zim was going to take me,"

"Oh..." I replied sadly.

I've had enough with all this 'Zim' crap. I'm going to wear an outfit at the dance that will _freaking blow everyone's minds!_

_But... What do I wear?_


	21. The Cheat to the Cheat

I AM THE BEAST! Hey it's Delilah!

School was out and I finally finished that hour of detention with Dib. He's not a bad guy, actually. He's just a little overprotective and loves what he does.

I saw a purple-haired girl having trouble with something in her hands, so I decided to help her.

"Dammit!" she growled, "That's the seventh time I tried the fucking code!" She was holding a Game-Slave 2.

Aaron has one of those, but I prefer the Nintendo DS lite. And he knows a thing or two about the codes, which he taught me some.

I looked over the girl's shoulder, "I can help you; which code are you typing?"

"Go away," she hissed at me.

I cleared my throat. "Excuse me, but I'm the girl that makes _Chuck Norris afraid_... Remember that girl?"

She looked at my face. "Oh yeah... You're the one who burned that valley-girl Olivia, right?"

"That's me,"

"OK, but I don't know how you would know anything about Game-Slaves." She showed me the hand-held, "I'm trying to get the code for the magnetic boots on level 78; I still don't understand why the code doesn't have the 'A' button in it."

"That's easy," I showed her what the code really was, "It's a trick code; if the cheat doesn't have one button included in it, then you _hold_ that button when you type the code,"

"Really?" she sounded confused.

"Trust me; my brother's an addict for Game-Slaves,"

She typed the cheat into the GS2. "Hey, it worked! I have magnetic boots! Thanks!"

"My name's Delilah; but call me Dare." I held out my hand.

"I'm Gaz, Dib's younger sister." She shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you,"

"You too,"

And that's the tale of how I miraculously got to be best friends with Gaz.


	22. TERMINATOR!

Agent Mothman, reporting.

Ugh, I still can't think of anything to wear to the freaking dance!

At least finally my dad came home for a while. He's a world famous scientist.

You can tell he's my dad because I have his hair. I like the lightning-style!

Gaz and I were sitting on the couch, watching _Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries_; I record it.

Dad walked through the front door and exclaimed, "Guess what kids? Tonight's movie night! Which movie do you want to see in theaters?"

"Don't know, don't care," replied Gaz.

"Anything paranormal would be fine," I stated.

"Well," commented Dad, "the closest thing to spooky stuff is _Terminator II: Judgment Day_,"

"It's not 'spooky stuff', Dad," I argued, "It's paranormal studies that-"

"Don't put me behind Dib;" Gaz turned off the TV, "I'll never be able to see through his giant head."

"QUIT MAKIN' FUN OF MY HEAD!"

"OK, then," Dad said, "Terminator it is!"

"I wanna see the part where the robot explodes," my sister hopped of the couch.

"It's not a robot, it's-" I stopped. Terminator, huh? Seems interesting, bold, something I like, Halloween-ish, scary... "It's my next costume!"

I know, I didn't type the chapter long enough, but I wanted to give you suspense! Plus, this had to happen; I had to tell you.


	23. A VampCat and a Cyborg

Sippin' on rootbeer chewin' gum! Hey, it's Dare!

Sittin' in my room. This has been a big space, but tomorrow's the dance. I'm just letting you in on some info, there.

*Sigh* I think I might want to go to the dance as Kristen Stewart, but it seems so... uncreative! I need something to represent ME!

Calli mewed in my face. "What are you talking about? I already went as part-cat for the talent show! I blew it! AND... Zim is taking me to the dance... Do you know anything good?"

She meowed.

"NO belly dancer; last time I was one, that S.O.B. Chris Murray tried to rip off my shawl and dump it in the toilets,"

She hissed at the sound of his name. To both of us, he's the freaking DEVIL. He used to be in my class in my old school.

I threw my head back and yawned. Out of nowhere, Calli meowed.

"What? No, I don't want Dib to freak out,"

What she said was, "Dare, since you can shapeshift and you know what an Irken person looks like, can't you go looking like one of Zim's kind?"

She meowed again, tilting her head. "OK, fine," I huffed. I morphed myself into an Irken. I'm not an alien, if that's what you're thinking; I'm just a human with abnormal abilities.

I got up and stared at myself in the mirror. I had light green skin and mild amethyst colored eyes. My eyelashes were sharpened to a silky point. I had long, flirty antenna that reached down to my waist and curled squarely at the ends. My tunic matched the color of my eyes; the back fell like a cloak down to my ankles while the front stayed like a shirt, and of course had an Irken insignia on the chest. The boots and the gloves were jet black and came halfway up, the gloves ended with a sharp point at my elbow. My leggings were a lighter shade of the tunic. All in all, Zim would have thought I was still as beautiful as an Irken.

"I can't go like this," I said to Cal.

I turned and she looked at me with a tilted head and skeptical eyes.

I morphed back into human form, slightly missing my Irken look, "Something different: vampire?" I sat back down on my bed.

She tilted her head a little bit this way and a little bit that way.

"Wait, maybe I can go as a half-cat half-vamp thing! That's original, right?"

She smiled and nodded. Yes, Calli is a _cat_ but that doesn't stop her from doing some things that people do. She purred a bit and rubbed against my arm. I stroked her back.

"I know, Calli, but... Do you think that Zim really loves me? Or is it just because I have powers, or looks?"

She looked up at me innocently and smiled. That's basically her saying (in this situation), "Don't let your hostile nature interfere with your friends, Delilah. Just let him take you wherever and if it doesn't work out, don't go out with a bang; try your best just to stay friends in case."

"Thanks, Cal, you're awesome," I scratched her head a little. "But we still have to figure out the outfit!" I hopped off my bed and stormed downstairs. "MOM! I need to go to Party City to get a Halloween costume! Can I take Aaron with me?"

_**

* * *

**_

"I can't believe you dragged me here," Aaron complained for the BAZILLIONTH time!

"Shut up; it's just a _vamp costume_."

"Well," he almost started to explode, "don't expect me to go as your date as *sparkle sparkle* Eddie Cullen!" He did jazz hands as he said 'sparkle'.

Aaron's not a big fan of Twilight. Neither am I, but I don't _hate_ it.

"Wolfie," I cooed; Wolfie is the nickname I gave Aaron when I was 4. He tends to call me Doodles a lot, "Vamps never sparkle in the sun, they're supposed to _die_,"

"I KNOW! Who wrote the book anyway? They just wasted paper, that's all!"

We hit the vampire aisle. It was full of all these cheesy costumes, but I went online and I already found the perfect one for me.

Aaron got distracted by something and broke off from me.

"Oh... Shit."

"What?" I turned my head towards his direction.

"You can get an _Edward Cullen wig_ for $6 now, previously $8"

I trotted up to him, "And how am I supposed to care?"

"The wig looks like a giant freaking tribble."

We paused and exchanged WTF looks. Then we cracked up.

I finally stopped, "Aaron, I'm NOT getting a wig; I'm straitening my hair and putting a streak or two in it, OK?"

"I know, but it's just funny to burn Twilight!"

"A lot of people love Twilight, you know that?" I walked back over to the Vampire/Woman section. I found the awesome cloak I was looking for.

"I know. Hey, and you know that kid, Zim?"

I turned my head, "Oh yeah; he's my date for the dance,"

"He's _WHAT_?"

"You're so protective of me ya know that? He's a real sweetheart, actually and he's coming over to pick me up tomorrow night, fine?"

"You already went out with him,"

"_I know_, but this is the dance and that was a smoothie." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"OK, OK, I'll piss off,"

We bought the vampire cloak and Wolfie got a silver and blue robot outfit.

*Sigh* Why are boys such idiots?


	24. Throwing Punches: Dare's Side

Sippin' on rootbeer chewin' gum! Hey, it's Dare!

Sittin' in my room. This has been a big space, but tomorrow's the dance. I'm just letting you in on some info, there.

*Sigh* I think I might want to go to the dance as Kristen Stewart, but it seems so... uncreative! I need something to represent ME!

Calli mewed in my face. "What are you talking about? I already went as part-cat for the talent show! I blew it! AND... Zim is taking me to the dance... Do you know anything good?"

She meowed.

"NO belly dancer; last time I was one, that S.O.B. Chris Murray tried to rip off my shawl and dump it in the toilets,"

She hissed at the sound of his name. To both of us, he's the freaking DEVIL. He used to be in my class in my old school.

I threw my head back and yawned. Out of nowhere, Calli meowed.

"What? No, I don't want Dib to freak out,"

What she said was, "Dare, since you can shapeshift and you know what an Irken person looks like, can't you go looking like one of Zim's kind?"

She meowed again, tilting her head. "OK, fine," I huffed. I morphed myself into an Irken. I'm not an alien, if that's what you're thinking; I'm just a human with abnormal abilities.

I got up and stared at myself in the mirror. I had light green skin and mild amethyst colored eyes. My eyelashes were sharpened to a silky point. I had long, flirty antenna that reached down to my waist and curled squarely at the ends. My tunic matched the color of my eyes; the back fell like a cloak down to my ankles while the front stayed like a shirt, and of course had an Irken insignia on the chest. The boots and the gloves were jet black and came halfway up, the gloves ended with a sharp point at my elbow. My leggings were a lighter shade of the tunic. All in all, Zim would have thought I was still as beautiful as an Irken.

"I can't go like this," I said to Cal.

I turned and she looked at me with a tilted head and skeptical eyes.

I morphed back into human form, slightly missing my Irken look, "Something different: vampire?" I sat back down on my bed.

She tilted her head a little bit this way and a little bit that way.

"Wait, maybe I can go as a half-cat half-vamp thing! That's original, right?"

She smiled and nodded. Yes, Calli is a _cat_ but that doesn't stop her from doing some things that people do. She purred a bit and rubbed against my arm. I stroked her back.

"I know, Calli, but... Do you think that Zim really loves me? Or is it just because I have powers, or looks?"

She looked up at me innocently and smiled. That's basically her saying (in this situation), "Don't let your hostile nature interfere with your friends, Delilah. Just let him take you wherever and if it doesn't work out, don't go out with a bang; try your best just to stay friends in case."

"Thanks, Cal, you're awesome," I scratched her head a little. "But we still have to figure out the outfit!" I hopped off my bed and stormed downstairs. "MOM! I need to go to Party City to get a Halloween costume! Can I take Aaron with me?"

_**

* * *

**_

"I can't believe you dragged me here," Aaron complained for the BAZILLIONTH time!

"Shut up; it's just a _vamp costume_."

"Well," he almost started to explode, "don't expect me to go as your date as *sparkle sparkle* Eddie Cullen!" He did jazz hands as he said 'sparkle'.

Aaron's not a big fan of Twilight. Neither am I, but I don't _hate_ it.

"Wolfie," I cooed; Wolfie is the nickname I gave Aaron when I was 4. He tends to call me Doodles a lot, "Vamps never sparkle in the sun, they're supposed to _die_,"

"I KNOW! Who wrote the book anyway? They just wasted paper, that's all!"

We hit the vampire aisle. It was full of all these cheesy costumes, but I went online and I already found the perfect one for me.

Aaron got distracted by something and broke off from me.

"Oh... Shit."

"What?" I turned my head towards his direction.

"You can get an _Edward Cullen wig_ for $6 now, previously $8"

I trotted up to him, "And how am I supposed to care?"

"The wig looks like a giant freaking tribble."

We paused and exchanged WTF looks. Then we cracked up.

I finally stopped, "Aaron, I'm NOT getting a wig; I'm straitening my hair and putting a streak or two in it, OK?"

"I know, but it's just funny to burn Twilight!"

"A lot of people love Twilight, you know that?" I walked back over to the Vampire/Woman section. I found the awesome cloak I was looking for.

"I know. Hey, and you know that kid, Zim?"

I turned my head, "Oh yeah; he's my date for the dance,"

"He's _WHAT_?"

"You're so protective of me ya know that? He's a real sweetheart, actually and he's coming over to pick me up tomorrow night, fine?"

"You already went out with him,"

"_I know_, but this is the dance and that was a smoothie." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"OK, OK, I'll piss off,"

We bought the vampire cloak and Wolfie got a silver and blue robot outfit.

*Sigh* Why are boys such idiots?


	25. Throwing Punches: Zim's Side

I am ZIM!

And I am NERVOUS OUT OF MY MIND!

Gaz pulled Dare away from me and all I had was Dib in my face. "Honestly, I'm not in a forgiving mood tonight," I growled at him.

"What? Dare giving you girl trouble?" he retorted.

"Shut up! I just feel like something's different with her tonight, unlike every other night," I turned away from him, but he followed me. "Get out of my face!"

"We _both_ know that I'm a better match for her; I'm smart, charming, considerate, and HUMAN." He poked me hard in the chest.

"That hurt," I hissed. I narrowed my eyes at him and tilted my antenna up.

"Oh, aliens feel pain, too? Can they feel love? Or is that just an evil plan to destroy the world talking?" Dib was getting obsessed over this.

"What are you talking about? Leave me alone!" I turned and walked away from him again.

"You don't like her! Your soul is bent on taking over Earth! Did you really think nobody would notice that?"

"You want to know the truth? YES! I love Dare!" I screamed at his face, "DO NOT make me bitch slap you."

Dib's eyes narrowed at me. "You're lying, Zim."

"Am not! I love her!"

"You could never love a human; it's in your nature!"

"I would trade the world, _my_ world, for her to be safe!"

"Can your kind even express emotions without destroying anything?"

"I'm not going to fight you, Dib, not over Delilah... My beautiful Delilah,"

That set him off for some reason. "YOUR? Delilah is not YOURS! Dare never belonged to you!"

"So what, like, she belongs to _you_?"

That retort blew him back a little. "No that's not what I mean! I _mean_ that you are never going to achieve whatever your _evil plan_ is including her!"

I was almost about to lose it. "I. DO. NOT. HAVE. AN. EVIL. PLAN!"

"Why else would you pretend to love a human?"

"This isn't pretending! Ever since she walked into that classroom and introduced herself, I was _always_ in love with her!"

"You're not the only one who crushes on her," he replied a little softer.

"What are you talking about?" I asked hostile, but not loudly.

"_I_ happen to love her, too. Ask my sister, she'll complain that I _never_ stop talking about her!" He crossed his arms, but it looked pretty retarded in the robot suit he was wearing.

"I guess I'm not the only one who lies about being in love," I taunted him.

"YOU SHUT UP, ALIEN FREAK!" He shouted.

Dib finally lost it. He slugged my face and it knocked me on my knees. "That was pathetic! You can't take a hit without falling on your face, can you!"

He gave me a black eye. I saw a few kids gathering around us, whispering. I slowly got up saying, "Do not. Hit me. Again."

"Are you too chicken to fight?" He was asking for this.

"I refuse to fight you." I turned around and tilted my head down.

"You're not refusing; you're only giving up on Delilah."

Delilah...

I quickly turned and socked him back, in the chest. "How dare you bring Delilah into this! She has nothing to do with our hatred for each other!" I was running out of thing to say. "And I'm not going to destroy your planet anymore! My love for her turned my life around! She _changed_ me!"

"Everything you say is a lie!"

We crashed into each other. He elbowed me in the neck, but at the same time, I kicked him in the knee. I broke off, coughing a little blood on the floor. He grabbed his knee. "You bastard!" He screamed.

"You're going to wake up in a hospital after this!" I yelled back.

I lowered my antenna for battle. I made first jab. Dib caught it and bent my arm. I clenched my teeth in agony.

Now, the whole dance was crowded around us.

"This means war!" I shouted.

I yanked my arm away as soon as he kicked me in the side. I dodged, but the metal boot cut my shirt. I came at him with my left fist. He took it in the chest, but he bit my wrist. I moaned in pain. I kicked him in the place where boys should never be kicked.

He shrunk down to his knees, gritting his teeth. I let out the metal spider legs out of my Pak. I tried to go for his chest while he was defenseless, but a voice screamed at me:

"ZIM! Don't! Please!"

I turned my head to the sweet voice. I stared at Delilah, whom looked at me horrified and on the brink of crying. Gaz stood next to her. My eyes widened at what I did.

I retracted my legs into my Pak but I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

Out of nowhere, Dib came at me in a full body-slam. He overshot his power with the suit and we both landed on one side of the table in the middle of the auditorium.

The punch was on the other side.

It went flying.

Towards Dare.


	26. Aftermath

I am ZIM!

I screamed, "NO!"

Dare didn't move. She stared at the airborne juice.

I didn't look, but I know that it landed all over her costume and face.

I bitch slapped Dib off of me. I got up, everyone staring at me, to try and help Dare.

"Dare! Are you OK? I'm sorry!"

"Go away... You could never be sorry enough for this day," she replied with her head down.

"Dare!" Dib came up behind me. "I-"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screamed at both of us. "You'd never know what day it is today!" She turned away, her vampire cloak dragging behind.

"Dare," Dib started, "you've been paranoid this entire night! And school!"

"Do you really want to know why I've been more ornery than usual!" she shouted. Everyone was gawking at us three.

"Yes," I soothed, "please,"

She growled to herself. She turned around and screamed, "TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!"

Dare buried her face in her hands, started sobbing, and ran outside. I think she morphed into a bat and flew home, but I don't know.

I looked at Dib; he looked back, tears rolling down his cheeks. "What have we done?"

"I don't know," I replied, "but we have to fix this."

"I think I know what would work," he said, "Come with me,"

He retracted his suit (he pushed a button on his chest and it turned into a pocket knife) and ran out the door to his house.

I had to follow him because I couldn't think of anything better to do.


	27. ZaDf: Zim and Dib friendship

Agent Mothman, reporting.

I retracted the suit and shoved it in my coat pocket. Me and Zim ran to my house. I opened the door and Gaz was watching something and Dad was fiddling with the toaster again.

"So what's this brilliant plan of yours, Dib?" Zim asked.

"You might not know this, but when it's a human's birthday her friends and family tend to give her _gifts_," I replied.

"I'm not stupid! We do that on Irk, too," he yelled, "But what's your point?"

"I have a few things in the garage that my family never uses,"

"Hello son!" Dad called, "Isn't that the child whom you keep calling an alien?"

"Yeah, but he's a friend now," I said quickly as Zim and I ran into the garage.

"Nice to know you have a friend, son!" Dad called.

"OK," Zim started, "What kind of crap do you have here?"

"It's not _crap_; this stuff might lead mankind to a brighter future if my dad could get it recognized!" I sounded proud.

"So, to you, it's crap?"

I let my arms down. "Yeah it's a lot of crap. But this stuff would be good for Dare." We started searching for stuff that we thought would be nice for Dare. "You know, Zim," I started, "You are the luckiest person ever, because we were fighting a few minutes ago, but now I'm letting you borrow some stuff to give to Delilah!"

"I know thanks, or whatever. What's that?" Zim pulled a leather collar from a random shelf above his head.

"Oh shit! That's an Animal Language Translator Collar that my dad made for a puppy we used to have; we called it an ALT-C. It has a state-of-the-art tracking system, the translator, and an adjustable neckpiece that can be small enough to fit a kitten, and big enough to fit a polar bear. Didn't you once say that Dare has a cat?"

"She does!" he exclaimed, "She has a dog too, but the cat is hers alone."

"Wanna give it to her?" I asked.

Zim just stared at the collar in his hand. He blinked, and handed it to me. "You give it; I'll get something else, from me."

I took the collar reluctantly. "Are you sure?" I asked, confused out my mind.

"Yes; I'll get her something myself."

"OK, but if you can't find anything..."


	28. OMG PRESENTS!

Go away, I'm depressed. I'm Dare.

I sat on my bed, sobbing for about half an hour. Calli lay next to me, exchanging a look of sympathy. I was still wearing my costume; it was still covered in punch. The pale face paint doesn't come off easily, so the tears and the punch didn't do crap. My makeup was the same except for the eyeliner, which rolled down my face as black tears.

Calli purred in comfort. She rubbed her head on my knee.

"But why would anyone fight for me?" I cried, "I'm just a freak!"

Cal purred again.

"I don't think I could forgive them this time," I replied.

She looked up at me with adorable kitten eyes.

"No Calli, no noms for you," I guessed.

She made a face that said, "Well, I didn't ask for _noms_!" Noms is food in LOL language.

"Sorry, I didn't understand you that time."

Out of nowhere, the doorbell rang.

Calli twitched her head toward the bell. That means "Go get it."

Aaron got there first though. "What are you _assholes_ doing here? You broke my sister's heart!"

I swallowed. It was Zim and Dib, coming to apologize. Zim couldn't take his eyes off his feet (his face shadowed) and Dib was on the verge of crying.

"We want to talk with Delilah," he said, "It was all our fault and we just came to say that we never knew it was her birthday... And we're really sorry and nothing like that will _ever_ happen again."

"What makes you think I'll _believe_ that?" Aaron yelled.

Also, since I'm part animal (again), I can sense when people are lying or not.

"They're telling the truth, Wolfie," I said as I slowly edged downstairs. Aaron believed me reluctantly, and abandoned the open door for me.

"_What _do you want?" I hissed at them as I stopped in the doorway.

Zim launched himself at me and burst into tears on my shoulder. "I'm sorry!" he cried, "I'm sorry! I never should have done anything! I shouldn't have taken you to the dance or taunted Dib like that! This is all my-"

"Zim," I cooed soothingly, "I believe you; you're OK."

He looked back up at me, his antenna were down lower than I'd ever seen. His eyes were huge and adorable. And he was still crying. He pulled away from me, saying, "happy birthday,"

"Happy birthday," Dib repeated, "We're sorry we made it suck for you,"

"It's fine," I replied. I hadn't noticed Gir standing behind Dib in his dog suit.

"Merry Christmas!" he shouted happily.

"It's birthday, Gir," I corrected.

"Oh... Merry birthday!"

"Thanks, guys," I said to everybody.

"But we didn't give you our presents yet," Dib stated.

"Presents?" I asked, "I can't-"

"Just except them already," Zim smiled. Dib held out something that looked like a collar with a few doo-dads on it.

"Put it on Calli," he instructed.

"Cals!" I turned and called for her. She sprinted down the stairs, but hid behind me hissing at them. "Calli, it's OK; they're friends again."

I adjusted the collar on her. A little static came from it, but I pushed a button and something AMAZING happened:

"What is _this_ supposed to do? Self-destruct on me!" Calli growled.

W in TF!

Calli was TALKING!

HOLY SHIT!

"She can talk now," Dib said, "And it comes in Spanish, French, Japanese, German, and Dutch!"

"I could _always_ talk, butthead, I just talked _my_ way!" She huffed into the kitchen, doing some kind of cat hair flip on the way.

"I gotcha somethin' too!" Gir cried. He pulled back his doggie hood and popped a cupcake from his head. "Eat the cupcake!" He handed it to me.

"Aww thanks Gir," It was chocolate. I love chocolate! I peeled off the wrapper and sunk my fangs into a bite of icing and cake.

"Mine isn't much," Zim said modestly, "Happy birthday," he said as he held up a tiny bouquet of flowers.

"Flowers?" Dib asked skeptically.

"Zim," I said, ignoring Dib's comment, "these are beautiful; thank you,"

I held out my arms to both of them, "C'mon, boys; group hug!"

We grouped hugged, including Gir.

"Dare," Zim started, "Will you go back to the dance with me?"

I paused a minute. I blinked. I nodded, "Of course, stupid; I love you,"

"But your face! And the dress!" Dib retorted.

"The dress only smells like fruit," I looked at him, "And I like the black streaks down my face."

Dib blinked repeatedly. "Oh... M'kay..."

I took Zim's hand. We walked back to the school dance.


	29. ZaDr: Zim and Delilah romance

Dare again.

This is weird, but when Zim and I walked into the auditorium, a lot of people looked at us and whispered to themselves.

A few girls came up to me and said 'happy birthday', but it was nothing compared to the boys'.

Zim must have had an idea. "Dare," he ordered, "stay here; I'll be right back,"

He ran across the auditorium to the stage. He talked to the DJ about something, and he ran back. "Listen to this:"

_I'll be your dream  
I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy_

"Oh my God," I realized, "Cascada? Truly Madly Deeply?"

_I'll be your hope  
I'll be your love  
be everything that you need._

He nodded. "A slow-dance song," he whispered. He held my hand, my waist. We swayed to the beat.

_I love you more with every breath  
truly, madly, deeply, do..._

_I will be strong  
I will be faithful  
Because I am counting on a new beginning  
A reason for living  
A deeper meaning yeah_

_I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

"When did you learn to slow dance?" I asked.

"Gir makes me watch _a lot_ of movies with him," Zim replied.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "That makes sense."

_And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky  
I'll make a wish send it to heaven  
That'll make you wanna cry  
The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty  
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection  
Of the highest power and lonely hours  
The tears devour you_

_I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

After that point, I started softly lip-syncing the rest of the song.

_Oh, can't you see it baby?  
Don't have to close your eyes  
'cause it's standing right before you  
All that you need will surely come_

_I'll be your dream  
I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy  
I'll be your hope  
I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need  
I love you more with every breath  
Truly, madly, deeply, do..._

_I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

_I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I want to lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

_(I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I want to lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me)_

_I wanna stand with you on a mountain_

Sadly, the song ended. The spotlight was on us and both of us were nervous. But when the last line played Zim and I held our breaths... And kissed.

The school cheered as loudly as they did when it was the talent show.

_**

* * *

**_

So the summary says that I can't decide who to bring to the dance with me, right? Well, Dib wrote it, but I gave him the idea.

Zim wins in a landslide.


	30. In This Town, We Call Home

This is Halloween! This is Halloween! This is Dare!

It's Halloween night, Friday, October 31t; bats are flying, cats are hissing, pumpkins are glowing, Dib is more paranoid than ever, and Zim is cowering in his house like a hermit.

LOL.

I didn't feel like going as a vamp-cat anymore. Remember my Irken form? I decided to scare the crap out of the boys tonight.

I morphed into an Irken and grabbed a pillowcase. "Bye Mom going trick or treating with Aaron now!"

"I'll see you before midnight!" she called.

"Of course, Mom," Aaron replied.

You won't _believe_ this, but Wolfie _didn't_ go as a freaking Cyborg!

Guess what he went as...

He went as HIMSELF!

HIS OWN BORING UNCREATIVE SELF!

"How creative," I commented sarcastically as we wandered down the street to Zim's house. He wore a white t-shirt underneath a red plaid long-sleeve flannel jacket. He wore jeans cut at the knee and a screwdriver and attached to a belt loop.

Go ahead and drool, high school girls.

"It's not my fault that I was lazy and I didn't feel like wearing the suit," he bit back.

I looked at him WTF-ly, "... Hell yeah it's your fault!"

He shrugged.

I told Aaron about my Irken form before, so he wasn't surprised about tonight.

"Wolfie, I'll BRB," I said in front of Zim's house. I sprinted to his doorstep and rang the bell, closely watching his lawn gnomes.

Gir answered the door in full robot form. "Hi! Hey, you're like Mastuh!" he squealed. Apparently, he didn't recognize me yet.

"Could you get your master for me please?" I asked sweetly.

"... OK!" Gir ran into the kitchen. "Mastuh! A pretty person is waiting for you!"

"What _pretty person_ do you speak of?" Zim asked, walking towards the door in his human disguise. He looked at me, astonished. "OH MY GOD IT'S AN IRKEN WITH A PILLOWCASE!" he screamed.

"OH NO PILLOWCASE!" Gir screamed and ran around in circles.

"What? You don't see the resemblance?" I asked. I morphed full human again, "Hey Zim!"

"Delilah?" He was totally stupefied. ROFL. "You... You're _Irken_?"

"No," I answered, "But you are,"

"Wha'?"

"I told you before, if I know what it looks like, I can turn into it!"

"So you have an Irken form too? With a working Pak and everything?""

"Yeah-huh," I morphed back into Irken form.

Zim stared at me for a while, "Well... I've never seen a more beautiful Irken than you,"

I blushed. "Thanks, but I came here for a reason,"

"And what's that?"

I held out my pillowcase with both hands, flirtatiously, "TRICK OR TREAT!"

"Oh, so you want candy? Huh?"

I nodded.

He moved the bag out of the way and kissed me. My antenna shot up above my forehead, while his were lower. I blinked, and the kiss was over. I blushed again.

"Can I go trick or treating with you?" he asked.

I smiled, "Sure! Just take off the phony getup, and we'll leave, you can bring Gir, too," I said as Gir put on his disguise.

Zim pulled off the wig and the lenses, grabbed a pillowcase, and attached Gir to a leash in 4 seconds. "OK!"

We walked back to Aaron, who was looking at Zim skeptically.

"Oh, so you're an alien?" he asked. Zim's eyes darted around, nervously looking for an answer. "It's a nice costume, bro,"

Zim sighed in relief. "We should visit Dib human's house for candy," he said as we walked, "I want to see the pathetic look on his face when he sees you, Dare,"

I laughed a little at the thought.

_**

* * *

**_

The four of us (including Gir because he got some candy too) hit 12 houses until we got to Dib's. Aaron rang the doorbell.

"Treat me or you will be tricked!" Zim yelled for the zillionth time. I lightly smacked him so he'd shut up.

Gaz opened the door. "Don't say crap, I'm on candy duty; I'll give you pieces."

"Hay Gaz!" I greeted.

"You look like Zim; you his breed or somethin'?" she asked as she gave me a Tootsie Pop.

I morphed my head into human form.

"Dare?" she sounded surprised, "That's you?"

"Before you ask, I'm not Irken; I can just shapeshift," I turned myself full Irken.

She paused after giving Aaron an Almond Joy. "... I find it reasonable," she commented.

"Have you seen your brother anywhere?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah; he's being a hermit in the garage, I'll go get him."

She put the candy bowl down and walked into the garage yelling "DIB! Get your butt up here!"

He came up wearing something on his head. He looked at me and was about to scream like a girl, but Gaz whispered in his ear.

"Dare?" he sounded confused.

"Yes it's me I'm not an alien I can shapeshift," I muttered quickly. "Do you have a costume? I was going to ask if you'd come with us," I said sweetly.

He paused. "... Uh, I have a Grim Reaper outfit from last year." He looked at his sister.

"I'll stay here and pass out candy," she said. Dib ran upstairs and changed in his Reaper costume in about 20 seconds. He grabbed a plastic scythe and a Jack-o-lantern bucket and we headed out.


	31. Candy Swap with a Twist

I am Zim!

Delilah yawned. Dib, Dare, me, and Gaz were sitting on the floor of Dare's house, doing this thing that Dare called a 'Candy Swap'. Gaz had a little extra candy from passing out.

We all laid out our candy in our own piles and traded them for other candies. Dare started.

"OK, I hate peanut butter, coconut, pineapple, and almonds." She paused a minute, sorting out the things she didn't like. "Who wants to trade 2 Almond Joys, 5 Reese's, and a Piña Colada flavored licorice?"

"Shove it in the middle and I'll take the licorice," Gaz said. Dare shoved all the stuff she didn't want into the middle of our circle. Gaz took a Reese's and the licorice, Dib took the rest of the Reese's and shoved two chocolate Kisses into the pile. Dare stole them before I could reach. I grabbed an Almond Joy and Gaz grabbed the other.

"Your turn, Dib," Dare switched it over to Dib.

Dib sorted out his candy, but suddenly exclaimed, "Hey! I got a rock!"

"Rock candy? Lucky!" Dare commented.

"No," Dib argued, "JUST rocks!"

Everyone except Dib burst out laughing, even Gaz.

"What do ya have?" Gaz asked him.

"I have 2 Tootsie Pops, a marshmallow eyeball, and a caramel Kiss," he replied.

"Ooh! I call caramel Kiss!" Dare called. Dib handed it to her.

"I also have the eyeball," he added.

"No one wants the eyeball!" Gaz said.

"I'll take it for a piece of beef jerky," I said. I hate meat. Baloney burns my skin and steak sauce burns me like water. Count me as a vegetarian. Dib and I traded the candy.

"Who the hell gives out beef jerky for Halloween?" Dare complained.

"You ought to see Valentine's Day," Dib replied. Gaz took his Tootsie Pops.

"What do you have Gaz?" I asked.

She looked at her pile. "I have extra boxes of Mike n' Ike, Milk Duds, a few Smarties, and a Poop Cola Bar."

"I hate those things," I complained. Dare looked at me. "Our school had a fundraiser selling these bars. They're made of raw sawdust."

"Sawdust?" Dare lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah, they're totally inedible; Gir ate a whole box and puked all over me."

"Ew,"

"I call a Mike n' Ike," Dib said.

"I'll chuck the bar," Calli came up behind Dare and grabbed the bar with her teeth. She dragged it into the kitchen and tossed it in the trash. She trotted back and sat between me and Dare, who stroked her. "Now, I want a Milk Dud for that."

"Cal," Dare argued, "How many times have I told you that chocolate can kill you?"

"... A lot,"

Dib decided to butt into this one. "Yeah, if you eat too much chocolate, it can give you a heart attack,"

"True," Dare explained, "But in cats and dogs, chocolate is actually poisonous to them. Chocolate has different acids in it that animals can't digest. So DO NOT feed ANY candy to Kes or Calli; feed it to Gir."

Gir was behind me, happily chewing on multiple pieces of candy at once.

Dare took a deep, relaxed breath, but quickly looked behind her towards the front door. She turned back, unsure, but knowing she was fine.

"You OK, Dare?" Dib asked. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"... I don't know. I feel we're being watched by something that we don't know, yet."

I looked back, out front window.

My eyes widened in terror.

In front of the window...

She stood...

Tak.


	32. Author's Note

**Hello to all my fellow faithful readers! This is the author of this story: TITANcheetah001!**

**I all hope you have enjoyed this story and I would encourage you to read my other stories. I had an awesome time writing this and I plan on publishing more. So far, these are all the stories that I am writing:**

-Iggy's Story_  
Hey, this is Iggy. If your reading this summary, don't stop here; read the whole story. It's about the time I feel head over heels over a girl shapeshifter from the Teen Titans who you probably never heard of... And saved her form torture from the School._

-CSI: Miami~ Titanic Homicide_  
My name is Lieutenant Horacio Caine. The current case is a female vic (Darian Sayhber), brown hair, brown eyes, age fourteen, and part of the Teen Titans, vacationed here with her boyfriend, Garfield Logan (Beast Boy), and was brutally murdered... by who?_

-The Unknown Animalbender _**~Part I~**  
I'm Darian. You may not know me... But read my story; I meet the Avatar, I have an adventure, oh yeah, and that Prince Zuko will NEVER forget me... I never thought I could find love in such a... Well, EVIL person. PS- He also happens to love me too._

-Where is the Love? For Zim? _**~Part I~**  
I'm Dare... My real name is Delilah Calico. I'm the new girl at Dib and Zim's school. The thing is... The Halloween Party Dance is coming up, and I have no idea to bring Zim or Dib with me! Will I be able to choose before the talent show AND the dance?_

-TUA 2: Competition _**~Part II~**  
I haven't seen Zuko in forever, it seems. I'm Darian; I've made a new life for myself in Ba Sing Se with my lemur, Saala. I've made friends, I've made enemies. I never expected to see a few old friends (with a new addition) or find love in somebody else._

-Zim & Dare's School Skiing Trip _**~Part II~**  
Hey, Dare here. Ms. Bitters' class is going on a week long skiing trip the week before Christmas. But when an 'old friend' of Zim's realizes that she'll get another chance at what she tried so long ago, she'll HAVE to take the risk for her own self..._

-TUA 3: The Rematch _**~Part III~**  
My hated enemy, Azula, is my love, Zuko's, sister. My name is Darian, it is the age of Fire and I have teamed up with the Avatar and friends again to stop Firelord Ozai from taking over the world. This time, Zuko is with them. I can fight Azula by myself_.

Delilah's Hometown Vacation! _**~Part III~**  
Agent Mothman reporting; it's Dib! Dare invited me, Gaz and.. ZIM on a two-week vacation to her hometown in CALIFORNIA! But is everything going completely perfect for Delilah, or will an Irken reject ruin this for her? (And I am NOT talking about Zim!)_

-Zuko's Journey (Finding Lost Love) _**~Part IV~**  
Darian... Her name haunts me, not in fear, but eternal love. I, Firelord Zuko, am not giving up until I find her. I am stuck in a futuristic world with cars, skyscrapers, and Nintendo game devices. Starting in the United States won't be easy without help._

-Unwanted Betrayal (Accidental) _**~Part IV~**  
I am Zim. I never wanted this to happen... The Irken Armada to come. I even called it off! I love Delilah and I am NOT EVER going to destroy her home... Why... Did my own LEADERS, my Tallest, do this to me? Why did they come to take over Earth?_

**Some I haven't started yet, but I plan on it. In the meantime, please read some of my other stories that I have written so far. I might even write more!  
**

**Also, as a note to all who read this, if I have been occupied with writing one story and haven't been updating others that I have already published, I assure you that I have NOT forgotten them. I promise that I WILL continue those stories as soon as I am finished with another.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story except for unfamiliar ones.**

**Fan Fiction: Unleash Your Imagination!**

Kisses, ~TITANcheetah001~

**PS- I **_**love**_** fan art and manga comics! I dream of having my stories in fan-made artwork. All I ask is that a talented artist (for example: **_**bleedman**_**, **_**N. K. Trojak**_**, **_**snafu**_**, **_**HAPPY**_**, _Darqx_ or maybe even you!) could draw or doodle my stories or scenes and post it on their website. If you have any information about any of my stories on paper, please email me through my profile****. Thank you.**


End file.
